Maybe I Am Just “Too Much?”

I am realizing that I love so hard, so deeply, so passionately…that I am so obsessively loyal, it aches sometimes…and can be overwhelming to others. But…I don’t know how to turn it off. 

If I back off and try to restrain it…I feel like I am choking & not being “authentically ME.” It is evident to others. I found myself trying so hard to be what I believed others thought I was, that it is was obvious. I was once described as a “kaleidoscope.” This was like a child’s toy tube. As the tube is rotated, the tumbling of the colored objects presents varying colors and patterns. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaleidoscope

Someone once complained about me saying, “You sure are annoying, just smiling & happy all of the time.” I was stunned and unsure how to respond. A friend whispered to me,“Turn your light down. It is blinding the unhappy people.” J

In my younger years, I often heard comments that I “wore my feelings on my sleeve” or that I am just "too sensitive and sentimental."

After reading the book The Art of Imperfection by Dr. Brene Brown, I am learning to practice “wholehearted living” and to have the courage to be vulnerable. One of the mantras is “I Am Enough.” This has helped me realize, even on a deeper spiritual level, that I am perfectly designed by God. He has a purpose for me. I can no longer allow anyone to define me. I must be who God wants me to be.

The Bible says:

Job 33:4 (NKJV): “The Spirit of God has made me, And the breath of the Almighty gives me life.”

Psalm 139:14 (NKJV):  “I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…”

As I enter the 5^th decade of my life, I am realizing:

• “Some things are just not that serious.”
• The Universe DOES NOT Revolve Around Me.
• GOD is in Control.
• Don’t let the World Define Me. 
• Empathy & Forgiveness (giving & receiving it)
• Take Nothing or Anyone For Granted.
• To Laugh Out Loud…and Smile Daily.

I am going to allow the love I feel for mankind to just “bubble over.” I will love others deeply, authentically & unapologetically.

“The biggest challenge in life is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else.”

“Be Yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”

 I resolve to live the rest of my life AUTHENTICALLY ME.

Will You?