Wednesday, December 31, 2014

“Do You Know Where You’re Going To?”

The song, “Do You Know Where You’re Going To?” was recorded by Diana Ross as the theme to the 1975 Motown/Paramount film Mahogany. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theme_from_Mahogany_%28Do_You_Know_Where_You%27re_Going_To%29

A few of the lyrics are:
Do you know where you're goin' to?
Do you like the things that life is showin' you
Where are you goin' to? Do you know?
Do you get what you're hopin' for
When you look behind you, there's no open doors
What are you hopin' for? Do you know?

As we are about to embark on a new year, this question comes to mind for all of us. 2015 holds many new opportunities to embrace and pursue.

Most of us go through the tedious task of  setting New Year’s Resolutions, but eventually end up not adhering to them.

This may be the time to evaluate the past year. Acknowledge the successes and lessons-learned; the triumphant and trials; the tests and testimonies.  This evaluation may be the compass in helping us determine where we are going.

Nevertheless, I am often reminded of this quote:
“You may make all of your plans in pencil; however, just remember that God has the eraser.”

I have found that the wisest thing for me to do is to pray deeply, asking the Lord what His plans are for me. Understand that He may not reveal it to you all at once. The key is to remain open, humble and receptive to whatever that may be and obedient to it.

The Bible says:
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV):  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV): 5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV): 7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
Jeremiah 1:5 (NKJV): 5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations.”
Proverbs 16:3(NKJV):  Commit your works to the Lord, And your thoughts will be established.

Memorable Quotes:
“Clarify Your Purpose:  What is the WHY behind everything you do? When you know this in life and design, it is very empowering and the path is clear.” – Jack Canfield
“It is never too late to be who you might have been.” – George Eliot
"The most wonderful thing in the world is somebody who knows who they are and knows where they're going and knows what they were created to do" - Bishop T.D. Jakes
“One day, Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. 'Which road do I take?' Alice asked. 'Where do you want to go?' was the Cheshire's response. 'I don't know,' Alice answered. 'Then,' said the cat, 'it doesn't matter.' " – Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures  in Wonderland
“God knows where you are today, And he knows how to get you where you need to be. Trust him and follow his leading.”
“If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” – Yogi Berra
 “Which DIRECTION will you take? Do you know where you want to GO? The direction MUST be your OWN. If you don't have a PLAN in place, then you will fit into the plan of someone else. Don't cross your fingers hoping you are going the RIGHT way. You won't get there overnight, but once you TURN a NEW direction with a MAP in hand, you WILL arrive at a BRAND NEW DESTINATION that is crazy.”
“One of the most courageous things you can do is identify yourself, know who you are, what you believe in and where you want to go.” – Sheila Murray Bethel

“Do you know where you're going to?” 
Ultimately, we should target our final destination to be Heaven…

Monday, December 29, 2014

“Believe It or Not”

Believe is “to accept or regard (something) as true: to accept the truth of what is said by (someone): to have (a specified opinion) “ http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/believe

Belief and Faith are interchangeable.

Faith is “strong belief or trust in someone or something; belief in the existence of God : strong religious feelings or beliefs”  http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/faith

Our society has become one in which we are conditioned to disbelieve things without quantifiable evidence. Yet, I wonder:
  • We don’t see the wind, but we feel it blow through our hair…
  • We don’t see what makes the rain, but we enjoy the feel on our skin…
  • Some may not believe that man can walk on the moon, yet they have…

Just because you choose not to believe something doesn’t make it “not real.”

Many struggle needlessly in believing that God exists.

I read this brief message from Rick Warren in his daily email called “Daily Hope By Rick Warren.” It stated:
In short, you’ll need to doubt your doubts and believe your beliefs. Most people do just the opposite. They doubt their beliefs and believe their doubts. That’s just dumb. Believe what God tells you in his Word.
I saw a bumper sticker many years ago that said, “God said it, I believe it, that settles it.” It may be a nice sentiment, but it’s bad theology. The truth is, “God said it, and that settles it — whether I believe it or not.” God’s truth isn’t based on whether you believe it or not. It’s still true even if you don’t believe it, because God can’t lie.  http://rickwarren.org/devotional/english/shield-of-faith-protection-money-can-t-buy2

The Bible says:
John 3:18 (NKJV):  “He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.”
Luke 1:45 (NKJV):  “Blessed is she who believed, for there will be a fulfillment of those things which were told her from the Lord.”
John 20:29 (NKJV):  Jesus said to him, “Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
Matthew 19:26 (NKJV):  But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
Mark 9:23 (NKJV):  Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”
Mark 5:36 (NKJV): As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, He said to the ruler of the synagogue, “Do not be afraid; only believe.”

Powerful Quotes:
“I believe in the sun when it’s not shining, in love when I am alone and in God even when He is silent.”
“Life has a funny way of working out just when you start to believe it never will.”
“I will walk by faith even when I cannot see.”
“Faith is not knowing that God can, it’s in knowing that He will.”
“I believe in Christ like I believe in the sun. Not because I can see it, but by it I can see everything else.” – C.S. Lewis

God is still our Creator, our Heavenly Father and from whom our blessings  flow. He gave His son Jesus Christ who died on the cross to save us…whether  you choose to believe it or not…

Monday, December 22, 2014

“One and Done?”

“One and Done” is a term used in sports to describe a team's performance in the playoffs when they win their first round game but lose in the second round. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=one+and+done
"One and Done" is a slang term used to describe a player who stays in college for a single year before bolting for the NBA. http://basketball.about.com/od/collegebasketballglossary/g/oneanddone.htm
"One and Done" - What Does it Mean? – (Business-wise) “In our vision…, the concept behind "One and Done" is described this way: We know that our quality and our ability to evolve and grow depends on constant improvement and doing things right.  If we think we will need to do something more than once in the exact same way, we automate it.  
“One and Done” is also used to describe a mother’s decision to have only one child. http://www.scarymommy.com/one-and-done/

This phrase can also be used to describe the rationale of teaching or doing something one time and expecting clear understanding and perfect execution. Many people and employers maintain this mentality. 

It is expressed as:
“I told her I loved her on our wedding day 25 years ago. She should know by now…”
“When he was in the hospital, I did call him ONCE…”
“I showed her how to bake that cake once. She should know…”
“I showed my son how to tie his shoes once. Why does he keep messing it up?”
“We had a one-hour training session on the sales process. Did he not learn it?”

Why do we assume that children or adults “get it” on the first attempt? No one does. If they do, my concern is…Is it repeatable…or as musicians say “a one-hit wonder?”

It takes training. Train is defined as “teach (a person or animal) a particular skill or type of behavior through practice and instruction over a period of time.” https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=train+definition

Practice over and over and over again, if necessary, until you can do it…never stop practicing. This is why Doctors "practice medicine" and Attorneys "practice law." The training and learning never ends...

The Bible even discusses this:
Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV): Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.
Romans 15:4 (ESV): For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.
1 Corinthians 9:25 (NIV): Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.
1 Timothy 4:8 (NIV): For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

Memorable Quotes
"Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential." - Winston Churchill
“It's not about perfect. It's about effort. And when you bring that effort every single day, that's where transformation happens. That's how change occurs.” -Jillian Michaels
“Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill
“Mistakes are proof that you are trying.”
“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.” - Margaret Thatcher
[G]ive it your all  [R]edo if necessary [I]gnore giving up [T]ake time to do it right”
“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” - Thomas A. Edison
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”
“If Plan A didn't work....the alphabet has 25 more letters. Stay cool.”
 “I've failed over and over and over again in my life... that's why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan
[F]irst   [A]ttempt   [I][L]earning
“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.” ― Benjamin Franklin

We should stop having unrealistic expectations of each other. Repeat it over and over again. If the student still doesn’t get it, it may be appropriate to evaluate the teacher…

Friday, December 19, 2014

“It is Obvious…”

I am very observant and conscientious of people, companies and those whose mission is to be of service to others.

I can detect when an employee or service provider really cares about their own integrity and their quality of work.

I can also tell when it is “just a job,” or “just a pay check,” or if they are doing “just what is required” of them.

How?
  • Lack of attention to detail
  • No “Thank You” or “You are Welcome” given
  • No smile
  • They appear to just be “going through the motions”
  • One can sense an “empty spirit”
  • “Not-my-job” attitude
  • Rudeness
  • Apathy and Complacency
  • Indifference
  • Facial Expressions
  • Body Language

I know I feel it, and I believe others do as well.

Many people are not working their dream job and are working in a job they are not happy in, and often resent…but must do to get a pay check.

They seem to believe that they can just go through the mechanics of the job description and that the people they are serving will not notice…or they don’t care what their customers think.

I have experienced this in fast-food, drive-through windows. I recall my experience back in the late 1980’s of working the drive-through window while in college. I was very conscientious in ensuring that every order was correct and that the food was prepared as though for myself. I greeted each customer warmly and thanked them for their business. Now, in 2014…I can drive through as a customer, have the employee take my money and hand me my order with no expression, no thank you…nothing. All I can say is, “Wow,” and (SMH) shake my head in disappointment.

We all have to be more diligent in doing the best we can…period. Even if we are in a job we don’t like, do the best you can while you are there.

The Bible explains:
Colossians 3:23(NIV): Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,
Proverbs 16:3 (NIV): Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.
Matthew 5:16 (NKJV): Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.
Hebrews 10:24 (NKJV): And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works,
Revelation 2:19 (NKJV):  “I know your works, love, service, faith, and your patience; and as for your works, the last are more than the first.

Memorable Quotes
“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep the streets even as Michelangelo painted or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare composed poetry. He should sweep the streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause and say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.’ ” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
“Never stop working your best because someone doesn’t give you credt.”
“Under-promise and Over-deliver.”
"Your work ethic, servant’s heart and attitude will set the tone for those partnering with your vision."  - Tiffany Cooper
"Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work isn't what you GET for it, but what you BECOME for it." - Steve Maraboli
“Every job is a self-portrait of the person who does it. Autograph your work with excellence” – Jessica Guidobono
“Take pride in everything you do from flipping burgers to building rockets. It will always show in the quality of your work.”
“People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. People will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou
How you do your job or serve others is not only obvious to them…it is obvious to God…

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

“Every Expression of Kindness Matters…”

I am learning that EVERY act of kindness…every visit, card, floral arrangement, phone call, prayer, text, email…they all matter and have a profound effect on others.

Whether it is toward someone who is ill; someone grieving; or for someone celebrating, the effects are monumental.

It is only in the midst of my own health “storm” that I have become so acutely aware of this.

It is so easy to make excuses….I used to.

They would look something like:

“I wanted to come or call by but…”
…I had to work late.
…It is a little bit of a distance for me.
…My kids had a basketball game/dance recital/event.
…I had to work on my college term paper.
…Time just got away from me.
…I figured you already had a lot of visitors
 ...I just got too busy.
…I didn’t want to tire you out.

Another one that I have been guilty of is: "Please CALL me if you need anything."

NEWS ALERT: People ill or grieving ALWAYS need something. I know that for me, I am so thankful to still be alive, that my needs seem minimal and my gratitude is profound. I reflect on this scripture -Philippians 4:11-13 (NIV): "11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

However, a few suggestions could be cards, books, scented items, flowers...whatever you would like or need if you were in their shoes.

I am humbled by this quote: “People with good intentions make promises but people with good character keep them."

The Bible encourages us to help each other.
Ephesians 4:32 (KJV): And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Philippians 2:4 (NKJV): Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
Matthew 5:16 (NKJV): Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.
Romans 15:1(NIV): We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves.
Romans 12:13 (NIV): Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Memorable Quotes:
“We all can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone.” – Ronald Regan
“The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.” – Oscar Wilde
“People will forget what you said; People will forget what you did; People will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou
“You may only be one person to the word, but you may also be the world to one person.” – Audrey Hepburn
“To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.” – Gandhi

Take a moment out of your day to extend kindness to someone. You may never visibly see the effect because it is embraced and deeply planted in the receiver’s heart…

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

“Caring with Consistency”

It is interesting how people will totally overwhelm you when someone dies…flowers, food, calls, cards, visits, the funeral, the repass…but then dwindle and eventually disappear a week later.

The heartache, grief and despair still remain…the caring and support disappear.

Navigating my own health “storm” has revealed this to me, which may explain why I refused to mention my diagnosis for about 1 ½ years. I needed to “wrap my own mind around it” and prepare myself emotionally.

I was too fragile to handle the initial onslaught of inquiries, concern and support – and then dismissal… as if I had never told you or you have become bored and moved on…

I have experienced people who I thought supported me, just “abandon me.” Guess what? My health challenge hasn’t been “healed” and gone away. The need for care and support hasn’t gone away. It’s just that…you have…

The words of Bryan McKnight’s love song ring true: “Do I ever cross your mind, Anytime?”

How do you “care consistently?”
  • Even if only once a month – email, call, send cards, text, etc,
  • Call, visit, help anyway you can
  • Putting someone’s walker in their car; holding the door or elevator; checking their mailbox
  • Praying for them
  • Encouragement

The Bible guides us:
1 Peter 5:7 (NKJV): Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
Galatians 6:2 (NKJV): Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV): Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV): And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Memorable Quotes:
“People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did.  People will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou
“Only those who care about you can hear you when you're quiet.”      
“Be someone’s sunshine when their skies are grey.”
"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." -Leo Buscaglia
“Nobody is ever too busy. If they care, they will make time.”
“Sometimes we need someone to simply be there... not to say anything or fix anything, but to let us know they're on our side, and that they care for us.”
“How you make others feel about themselves says a lot about you.”
“To the world, you may be one person; but to one person, you may be the world.” – Dr. Seuss

Make a conscious effort to be caring and concerned about others every day. You will, in the future, need someone to return the kindness to you…

Friday, December 5, 2014

Unapologetically “Real ”

I used this phrase to describe Deion Sanders in his new reality show on OWN called “Deion’s Family Playbook.” I find his “prime-time” life philosophy to be refreshing.

When confronted with allegations and negative attacks (Haters) he responds:
“You can’t break me, because you didn’t make me.
You can’t prevent me, because you didn’t invent me.”

We live in a society that attempts to define what we should think, what we should say and who we should be.  Many of us are so consumed in their attempts to be someone or something they are not that they have lost all concepts of who they are.

Most people are not who they are; or even who others think they are. Most are who they think others think they are.

Satan has become so cunning as to try to convince us to redefine Philippians 4:8 (NKJV):  “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.”

The Bible also says:
1 Timothy 4:4 (NIV): For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving,
Genesis 1:27 (NIV): So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
Jeremiah 1:5 (NKJV): “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations.”

Memorable Quotes:
“Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss
“Why Fit In When You Were Born To Stand Out?” - Dr Seuss
“You were born to be real, not to be perfect. You’re here to be you, not to be what someone else wants you to be.”
“Don't be afraid of being different, be afraid of being the same as everyone else.”
“Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions.” - Will Smith
“By being yourself, you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before.”
“Be Yourself. Everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“If you are your authentic self, you have no competition.” – Scott Stratten

Our ultimate goal should be to be who GOD created us to be…

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Thrown Off The “Merry-Go-Round”…

I have worked in Corporate America all of my adult life. Having just crossed over the “50” age-threshold, I recall my first “real” corporate job during my senior year of college.

(Note to all college students:  Although unpopular, this proved to be a very smart move on my part. I was able to include real-life, work experience on my resume when I graduated.)

If my math is accurate, that is 29 years of corporate work experience. I felt as though I had mastered it all…navigating the corporate culture; office politics; subtle & overt racism and sexism; denied well-deserved & earned promotions and raises; office gossip; “CYA” mentality; avoiding being the “fall guy;” reading company trends; avoiding & succumbing to lay-offs; work practices & mandates that conflicted with my faith….all of it.

And then, an unexpected, debilitating health diagnosis and a job lay-off threw all of that out of the window. I felt as though I was riding on a merry-go-round and someone abruptly stopped it and sent me catapulting to the ground. You initially lie there…dazed and confused. What just happened? None of my years of training and corporate loyalty had prepared me for this.

But guess what?  My deep-rooted faith did.

The Bible guided me:
Romans 12:2 (NKJV): And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
1 Peter 5:7 (NKJV): Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
Philippians 4:13(NKJV): I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV): 5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
Romans 8:28 (NKJV): 28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

You manage to get on your feet to find that the merry-go-round  has resumed…without you. Did it actually ever stop?  You realize that all of these years… you thought you were indispensable to the company or organization, that your input was valuable to their survival and success… were not true. And now…you see that you can be so easily dismissed and replaced, without a second thought.

It seems harsh…maybe it is. But that is reality. “It Is What It Is…”

My friend and I used to say to each other: “And there it is…And there you have it…And now you know…”

Once you can understand this…you will NOT put off those vacations, family reunions or children events. You never get these back. No amount of money or awards or “atta-boys” can ever replace them.

When you are faced with your own mortality, the world looks different.

Now…don’t get me wrong…the almost 30 years of business acumen have not gone away. You just learn that there are other rides in life other than merry-go-rounds. There are roller coasters, bumper cars, chair lifts, water rides…tons of other experiences that you were never aware of…that you never took the time to try.

If I had not been “thrown off” of my 30-year merry-go-round  by my health challenges and job lay-off, I would have never embraced my love of writing and published a book!

The moral of the story: Life is so short. Get off the “merry-go-round,” embrace new experiences and enjoy your life.



Monday, December 1, 2014

We are All "Accountable"

Accountability is defined as “an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions” http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/accountability
Accountability is “the state of being accountable, liable, or answerable.” http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/accountability

Everyone is accountable to a higher authority.
  • Billionaires  -  to the Government, laws of the land and the IRS
  • Employees – to their Employers
  • All US Citizens – to the Laws of the Land; to those with the responsibility to enforce the law
  • Children – to their parents
  • Wives – to you husbands
  • Husbands – to your wives, to Jesus
  • Even Jesus – to God
  • EVERYONE – to God

We MUST teach this to our youth at an early age.
Ephesians 6:1-2 (NKJV):  Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise:

An early indicator is when you see toddlers or youth:
  • Disrespect their parents, talking back or refusing to do what they are told
  • Discipline problems in school
If it is not stopped now, it will escalate with very undesirable outcomes.

The Bible speaks often of accountability:
Genesis 4:9 (NKJV):  Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is Abel your brother?” He said, “I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper?”
Jonah was disobedient to the Lord. HE held him accountable in Jonah 1-2 chapters, by allowing him to get swallowed by a whale and spend three days and nights in its belly.
James 5:16 (NKJV): Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
Hebrews 13:17 (NKJV): Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you.
Romans 14:12 (NKJV): So then each of us shall give account of himself to God.
Matthew 12:36 (NASB): But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment.
1 Peter 4:5 (NKJV): They will give an account to Him who is ready to judge the living and the dead.

There has to be fear before there is respect. We must fear God before you can respect and obey him.
Deuteronomy 10:20 (NKJV): You shall fear the Lord your God; you shall serve Him, and to Him you shall hold fast, and take oaths in His name.
Psalm 89:7 (NKJV): God is greatly to be feared in the assembly of the saints, And to be held in reverence by all those around Him.

Memorable Quotes:
“Accountability is everything.” – Deion Sanders
 “More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren’t so busy denying them.”
"Accountability breeds Response-ability." – Stephen Covey

One of the most important life lessons for us all is that we all are accountable and must humble ourselves to the ultimate authority…God.