“Holes in the Boat”

I found this quote to be very thought-provoking:

“Make sure everyone in your boat is rowing and not drilling holes when you are not looking. Know your circle.” – Anon

There are five types of people you will encounter on this journey we call life:

1. Those excited for you and where you are headed. They are rowing with you and encouraging you every step of the way.
2. Those who smile and say they are with you, but inwardly have doubts. Although they are going through the motions, they are not happy about your success.
3. Those who only want to go along for the ride. They offer no assistance or encouragement.
4. Those who resent you and are subtly punching holes in the boat to keep you from succeeding. Sadly, they are so blinded by their envy to realize that they are also drowning themselves.
5. Those who are very open about wanting you to fail. They make it every clear in their words and actions that they want you to fail by any means necessary.

It is critical that you know everyone you allow “on the boat with you.”

A good test is to share your vision. Those that say, “Great! How can I help!” are probably “keepers.” Others who ask “Why would you do that? Why this boat? Do you need the others? “ are probably those you should avoid.

This reminds us of Jonah in the Bible. The other fisherman had to understand who was on the boat causing the seas to rage. When it was determined that it was Jonah, they had to make the tough decision to throw him overboard, or risk all of them perishing. (Jonah 1:16 NKJV)

We may need to evaluate if people in our lives are causing the seas to rage; punching holes in the boat; not rowing or helping us on the journey; just going along for the ride or actively want you to fail. Embrace those who are supportive, encouraging and assist you on your journey. Avoid and eliminate those who are not.

Life rule to live by:

Pay attention. Make “boating adjustments” as needed.

“Front Row of Your Theatre”

I once was given this very profound piece of wisdom:

Be careful who you “reserve a seat on the front row of your theatre” called life.

These people should be the ones who:

1. Love you unconditionally;
2. Support you without wavering;
3. Encourage you through your doubts and fears;
4. Pray for you daily;
5. Have never stopped believing in you.

Those that only have four out of five of these qualities may need to be moved back to Row 10. Those with two or three may need to be up in the Mezzanine or “nose-bleed” section.  Others may need to be moved to the parking lot.

This is something you do more so “mentally, spiritually and emotionally.” This is done by remaining true to you and to the faith, but discontinuing sharing your heart, dreams, goals and inner-most feelings.

There are many people who have me “seated on the front row” of their lives. And rightfully so…I have and will always adhere to the five characteristics noted above. However, I have “mentally” had to gently move a few of them to the nose-bleed section or in the parking lot of mine.  Although my love for them remains the same, I have sadly had to recognize that the feelings, spiritual love and commitment I have for them were not mutual.

The painful reality is that not everyone is pleased with your happiness or success. Often, it is a reflection of their insecurity or lack. Others are frustrated seeing you take the initiative to do what they are afraid to do.

The Bible reminds us:

Matthew 5:44 (NKJV): But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,

Matthew 10:16 (NKJV): “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.

Matthew 7:15 (NKJV): “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves.”

Matthew 7:16- 20 (NKJV): 16 You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thorn bushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Therefore by their fruits you will know them.

Quotes to Remember:

“Never make anyone a PRIORITY, when all you are to them is an OPTION.” – unknown

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” – Maya Agelou

“Don’t let anyone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going for yours.” – unknown

“Some people you have to love from a distance.” – unknown

“Haters will see you walk on water and say it’s because you cannot swim.” – unknown

“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world and there’s still going to be someone who hates peaches.” – Dita Von Teese

“Haters don’t really hate you. They hate themselves because you are a reflection of what they wish to be.” – unknown

You are “on stage” performing in this production we call Life. You have the responsibility to determine who gets to sit on the front row. But, at the end of the day, God is the Audience…

“The BackStabbers…”

Many of us remember this iconic song by The O’Jays titled “BackStabbers.”

The chorus is:

(What they do)

(They smile in your face)

All the time they want to take your place

The back stabbers (back stabbers)

(They smile in your face)

All the time they want to take your place

The back stabbers (back stabbers)

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/ojays/backstabbers.html

"Back Stabbers" is a 1972 song by The O'Jays. Released from the hit album of the same name, the song spent one week at #1 on the Hot Soul Singles chart. The narrator in "Back Stabbers" warns men about their male "friends" who smile to their faces, but are secretly planning to steal their wives or girlfriends. It was also inspired by an earlier hit in the same theme vein, The Undisputed Truth's "Smiling Faces Sometimes" (the chorus of which is incorporated into the end of the song).  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Back_Stabbers_(song)

Unfortunately, this is becoming more subtle and prevalent in our society. It is not limited to love relationships, but now emerges in any relationship, including friendships and work associations. We often use terms today like “throwing you under the bus.”

I am often amazed how easy it has gotten for people, especially those you love and trust, to “smile in your face” and “say they love you;” yet, speak of you so negatively that it feels like a stab to the heart. 

This excellent article How to Deal with Backstabbers on the website WikiHow gives insight into ways to manage this:

A backstabber pretends to be your best buddy, only to turn around and betray you, spreading lies and hurtful gossip. Whatever the reason behind this behavior, it's important to protect yourself from it. If the situation continues, you'll need to find a way to end its effect on your life, whether by repairing your relationship with the backstabber or moving on.

Part 1 of 3: Protecting Yourself from Backstabbing

1. Keep gossiping to a minimum.

2. Build good relationships with everyone around you.

3. Learn to spot the signs of backstabbing as early as possible.

4. Understand that not all irritating behavior is a sign of backstabbing.

5. Keep a record of what goes on.

6. Identify the backstabber.

7. Confide in a friend about your suspicions.

8. Don't become a backstabber yourself.

Part 2 of 3: Handling a Backstabbing Friend

1. Stay calm.

2. Encourage the backstabber's good side.

3. Ask to speak to the backstabber directly.

4. Honestly describe the situation without making the other person feel     

    threatened.

5. Listen to the other person's story

6. Forgive your friend when you are ready.

7. Confide in a friend about your suspicions.

8. Talk about your friendship and any other problems that come up.

9. Be willing to change.

10. If all else fails, end the friendship. Sometimes, you can't recover the trust

      the betrayal cost your friendship.

Part 3 of 3: Dealing with a Backstabbing Coworker   

1. Don't let the coworker interfere with your work.

2. Give the backstabbing coworker positive ways to contribute.

3. Discuss the situation privately with the backstabber.

4. Back up your claims with records.

5. Set up a meeting with a manager if your employment is in jeopardy.

http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Backstabbers#Handling_a_Backstabbing_Friend_sub

However, the Bible explains:

Matthew 5:44 (NKJV): But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,

Luke 6:28 (NKJV): bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.

Matthew 10:16 (NKJV): “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.

James 1:19 (NKJV): So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;

Romans 12:19 (NKJV): Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.

Memorable Quotes:

“Don’t worry about those who talk behind your back. They are behind you for a reason.” - unknown

 “Try not to take things personally. What people say about you is a reflection of THEM not you.” – unknown

“Live in such a way that if anyone spoke badly about you no one would believe it.” – unknown

“Be careful with your words. Once they are said, they can only be forgiven, not forgotten.” – unknown

“Branding is what people say about you when you are not in the room.” – unknown

“Haters don’t really hate you. They hate themselves because you are a reflection of what they wish to be.” – unknown

 “Some people you have to love from a distance.” – unknown

“Haters will see you walk on water and say it’s because you cannot swim.” – unknown

We must always remember Jesus Christ’s relationship with Judas Iscariot. He was one of the twelve disciples.

Yes…Jesus dealt with a “backstabber” too.  (Luke 22:3-4; 21-22; 47)

“Pearls before Swine…”

Matthew 7:6 (NKJV): “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.”

"Pearls before swine" and "casting pearls" refer to a quotation from Matthew 7:6 in Jesus's Sermon on the Mount, implying that one should not put what is valuable in front of those who will reject the notion that it has value and furthermore that they will seek to diminish or destroy what one offers. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pearls_before_swine

This rings true on so many levels. I realize that I have been guilty of presenting my “best self”, i.e., my love, my loyalty, my sincerity, my commitment, my time and my everything…to people, events and circumstances that not only did not value me, but rejected the notion that I had any value.

This is often expressed in obvious and subtle ways. I have experienced people devaluing my blogs, my writing and even my published book to my face and behind my back.  It can also present itself in the form of devaluing your opinion, your point-of-view or perspective. Many also dismiss you, ignore you and minimize your worth.

“…Do not throw your pearls before swine” (Matthew 7:6, NAS). "Do you realize you have treasure on the inside of you? You could say that your pearls are what God has given you to be a blessing to the world around you—your gifts, talents and abilities. When you get around true friends, people who really believe in you, they won’t be jealous of your gifts. They won’t constantly question who you are. They won’t try to talk you out of your dreams.“  - Robin 'Foster' Steen (via Pinterest)

We have to understand that each and every one of us was created by God for a specific purpose. God is not pleased when we don’t value His creation (you) enough to not allow it to be dishonored and disrespected.

The Bible says:

1 Corinthians 6:20 (NKJV): For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body[a] and in your spirit, which are God’s.

Philippians 1:6 (NKJV): being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;

1 Peter 2:9 (NIV): But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

Ephesians 2:10 (NIV): For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Psalm 139:14 (NKJV):  I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.

Song of Songs 4:7 (NIV): You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.

Memorable Quotes:

 “If you are giving your all to someone and it’s not enough, you are giving it to the wrong person. “ – unknown

“You cannot change the people around you, but you can change the people you choose to be around.” – unknown

“When you say ‘Yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself.” - Paulo Coelho

“Never waste yourself trying to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.” - unknown

 “There comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn’t jump puddles for you.” - unknown

“Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.” – John F. Kennedy

Let’s all strive to maintain our “pearls” as a living testimony to God's Love for us…

“All About the SELFIE…”

With the launch of the iPhone and Smartphone technology came the ability of the user to take pictures of themselves.

A selfie is a self-portrait photograph, typically taken with a hand-held digital camera or camera phone. Selfies are often shared on social networking services such as Facebook, Google+, Instagram, Snapchat, Tumblr and Twitter. They are usually flattering and made to appear casual. Most selfies are taken with a camera held at arm's length or pointed at a mirror, rather than by using a self-timer.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selfie

ABC even has a new TV series premiering called “Selfie.” It is an upcoming American situation comedy series that is loosely based on My Fair Lady, set in the world of social media. Using a premise similar to Pygmalion and My Fair Lady, the series will follow the life of Eliza Dooley (a modern day version of Eliza Doolittle), a woman obsessed with becoming famous through the use of social media platforms (including the use of Instagram and taking selfies.)  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selfie_(TV_series)

I see the relevance when it comes to group shots. I have always been a “picture-taking fanatic.” I was so consumed with capturing special moments that I was rarely in them. I have little evidence that I actually enjoyed the events.

However, we have become so obsessed with “selfies” that I cannot help but be concerned that we no longer see anyone else. God created us to serve others. Not to idolize ourselves. If we are so consumed with ourselves, how can you see the person struggling beside you?

The Bible cautions us in this thought-process of only “thinking of ourselves”:

Mark 12:31 (NKJV): …‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Psalm 37:4 (NKJV): Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

Titus 2:7 (NKJV):  in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility,

2 Timothy 2:15 (NKJV): Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

Philippians 2:3 (NKJV): Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.

James 3:16 (NKJV): For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.

Matthew 23:12 (NKJV): And whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.  [exalt: to raise (someone or something) to a higher level; to praise (someone or something) highly http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/exalt  ]

Romans 12:2 (NKJV): And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

(Conform is defined as: to be similar to or the same as something; to obey or agree with something; to do what other people do; to behave in a way that is accepted by most people http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/conform )

“Selfies” are fun to take. However, we must be cautious in being so "self-absorbed," that we lose sight of what GOD wants us to do…

“Sitting on a Nail…”

Although this story is told in different ways, the final lesson is still the same. Here is my version:

One day, a man named John traveled from the city to visit a small town. He decided to shop in a local store. At the entrance were two men dressed in overalls, whittling wood and relaxing in rocking chairs. Further down was an old blood hound dog, howling, in apparent agonizing pain.  “Auuuuuhhhh………. Aaaauhhhh……….”

Although he found this perplexing, he entered the store. As he was leaving, the men were still calmly sitting in their chairs whittling as the dog continued howling… “Auuuuuhhhh………. Aaaauhhhh……….”

Curiosity overcame John. 
He asked, “Excuse me, is that your dog?”

One of the men replied, “Oh, yeah, that’s Old Red.”

John asked, “Why is he howling like that?”

The man somewhat smiled and said, “Oh, that’s cause he is sitting on a nail.”

John was shocked!
He asked, “Sitting on a nail?!!  Then, why doesn’t he just get up?!”

The man stopped whittling, looked John directly in the eyes, shrugged, and said,
“He will…when it hurts bad enough…”

_________________________________________________________

All of us have nails in our lives that are poking us. Some of us have career nails. Jobs we don’t enjoy. Work that’s dragging us down and sucking our life away. Jobs that we complain about, day in day out, yet we don’t do anything about them. Managers and/or colleagues who stifle us. Recognition that’s overdue. Limited career developments. Unsatisfactory pay and benefits. Not having made a name for ourselves yet in our career.

And there are so many other nails. Relationship nails. Financial Nails. Dream Nails. Health nails. Friendship nails. Spirituality nails. Family nails. Habit nails.

Each of us have different nails poking us. Some of us have a couple of big nails that pokes us every once in a while. Some of us have several small nails that poke on and off. Some of us have multiple big and small nails that poke repeatedly. Rather than take action, most of the times we just sit and howl. Because the pokes aren’t painful enough.

Are there any nails in your life you are not addressing? Why? Is it because they are not painful enough yet?  Don’t wait until the nails really hurt before you take action. Because when that happens, that usually means it’s too late to do anything. http://personalexcellence.co/blog/the-howling-dog-story/

_________________________________________________________

The Bible tells us how to “get off the nail”:

Philippians 4:13 (NKJV): I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Hebrews 11:1(NKJV): Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Joshua 1:9 (NKJV):  “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV):  5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

Romans 12:2 (NKJV): And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV): For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

Memorable Quotes:

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

“If you want something you have never had, you have got to do something that you have never done.”

“You have got to be sick and tired of being SICK and TIRED.” - Steve Harvey

“The sooner you step away from your comfort zone; the sooner you’ll realize that it really wasn’t all that comfortable.” – Ed Harris, Jr.

“You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.  What you will discover will be wonderful. What you will discover will be yourself.” – Alan Alda

“Don’t ask God to guide your steps if you are not willing to move your feet.”

“Why not go out on a limb? That’s where the fruit is.” – Mark Twain

So, get up and get moving. While you remain “sitting on a nail,” Jesus Christ endured nails on the cross for you…

My “Cup Runneth Over”…

"My Cup Runneth Over" is a quotation from the Hebrew Bible (Psalm 23:5) and means "I have more than enough for my needs" though interpretations and usage may vary. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Cup_Runneth_Over

I have always maintained the position to “do good expecting nothing in return.” I believe that you should focus on putting out good to the universe.

The lesson for me is:  “Keep putting out good. It will come back to you ten-fold in unexpected ways.”

It is part of my DNA. My mind always thinks about how I can benefit or be a blessing to others.

What I am discovering is that as long as I maintain this and focus on what is pleasing to God, blessings seem to overwhelm me.

It is amazing how we don’t seem to grasp the point that “by grace,” you woke up this morning. Many did not.

If we would take a moment to realize how blessed we really are, we would truly embrace the fact that we are “blessed beyond measure.”

The Bible points this out:

Matthew 6:4 (NKJV):  that your charitable deed may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly.

Psalm 23:5-6 (KJV): ”5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

Luke 6:35 (NKJV): “But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil.”

Memorable Quotes:

“The more thankful you are, the happier you will be.”

“No experience is ever wasted. Everything has meaning.” – Oprah Winfrey

“Not what we have, but what we enjoy, constitutes our ABUNDANCE.” – Epicurus

“I fill my cup with: Kindness, Love, Understanding, Hope, Peace and Gratitude.”

“I give all the glory to God. The glory goes up to Him and the blessing fall down on me.” – Gabby Douglas

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say ‘I used everything you gave me.’ – Erma Bombeck

“Those who plant blessings shall also harvest blessings.”

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.”

The more you express gratitude, you too, will notice so many blessings that your “cup runneth over…”

“Like Sands Through the Hourglass…”

"Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives." For over one-third of a century, those words have introduced and underscored one of daytime drama's rare mainstays. NBC's "Days of our Lives" first premiered as a half-hour drama in 1965 and expanded to an hour 10 years later. Today, it remains a favorite among viewers of daytime television serials.  http://www.nbc.com/days-of-our-lives/about

This is becoming more evident in the current day we are living in.

I know I never really put much consideration into my own mortality. That is a ploy of Satan. In his cunning way, he leads us to believe that we will live forever. However, that is not God’s plan for us.

The Bible says:

James 4:14 (NKJV):14 whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.

Hebrews 9:27 (NKJV): And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment,

2 Corinthians 5:10 (NKJV): For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.

Every single second, minute, hour and day draws us closer to the end of this existence. It is imperative that we embrace each and every one.

Powerful Quotes:

“Yesterday is History. Tomorrow is a Mystery. Today is a Gift from God. That’s why it is called the PRESENT.” – Bil Keane

“The trouble is, you think you have time.” – Buddha

“Time is Precious. Handle with Grace. Time is one thing we cannot replace.” – unknown

“Today is the most important day of our lives.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

“What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of your life haven’t happened yet?” – unknown

“THERE IS NO TOMORROW! THERE IS NO TOMORROW!” – Apollo Creed to Rocky Balboa in movie Rocky III

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time given to us.” – J.R.R. Tolkien

We must embrace and appreciate every single day we are allowed.

Are You?

"I Saw That Coming…"

I recall often hearing this saying, “I saw that coming from a mile away.”

This phrase is primarily a way to explain events that we believe have a predictable outcome.

Other scenarios include:

“You keep playing with fire and you will eventually get burned.”

“You keep traveling down this road, you’ll recognize it is a dead-end street.” – Janette McGowen

“If you continue smoking…it is highly likely that you will get lung cancer, have throat issues or acquire emphysema or other breathing ailments.”

If an athlete has bad behavior – they will eventually get released from the team.

If a college student parties all of the time and does not attend classes – they will eventually get expelled.

If you keep taking drugs – you will eventually die from an overdose, erratic behavior, etc.

It’s interesting how we can use this phrase for anything and everything but our spiritual lives.

“If you don’t study the Word; you don’t pray; you don’t attend worship; you don’t fellowship with other Christians; You refuse to be obedient and you make God an option instead of your main priority”….the outcome is predictable...and will be unpleasant.

Can you honestly expect to hear the Lord say the following?

Matthew 25:21(NKJV) - His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’

The Bible instructs us to:

2 Timothy 2:15 (KJV): 15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

Romans 12:2 (NKJV):  And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

The final questions we must all ask ourselves:

Do you see your Heavenly Reward a mile away?

“Is your outcome predictable?”