“The BackStabbers…”
Many of us remember this iconic song by The O’Jays titled “BackStabbers.”
The chorus is:
(What they do)
(They smile in your face)
All the time they want to take your
place
The back stabbers (back stabbers)
(They smile in your face)
All the time they want to take your
place
The back stabbers (back stabbers)
"Back Stabbers" is a 1972 song by The O'Jays.
Released from the hit album of the same name, the song spent one week at #1 on
the Hot Soul Singles chart. The narrator in "Back Stabbers" warns men
about their male "friends" who smile to their faces, but are secretly
planning to steal their wives or girlfriends. It was also inspired by an
earlier hit in the same theme vein, The Undisputed Truth's "Smiling Faces
Sometimes" (the chorus of which is incorporated into the end of the song). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Back_Stabbers_(song)
Unfortunately, this is becoming more subtle and prevalent in
our society. It is not limited to love relationships, but now emerges in any
relationship, including friendships and work associations. We often use terms today
like “throwing you under the bus.”
I am often amazed how easy it has gotten for people,
especially those you love and trust, to “smile in your face” and “say they love
you;” yet, speak of you so negatively that it feels like a stab to
the heart.
This excellent article How to Deal with Backstabbers on the website WikiHow gives insight
into ways to manage this:
A backstabber pretends to be your
best buddy, only to turn around and betray you, spreading lies and hurtful
gossip. Whatever the reason behind this behavior, it's important to protect yourself
from it. If the situation continues, you'll need to find a way to end its
effect on your life, whether by repairing your relationship with the
backstabber or moving on.
Part 1 of 3: Protecting Yourself from Backstabbing
1. Keep gossiping to a minimum.
2. Build good relationships with everyone around you.
3. Learn to spot the signs of backstabbing as early as
possible.
4. Understand that not all irritating behavior is a sign of
backstabbing.
5. Keep a record of what goes on.
6. Identify the backstabber.
7. Confide in a friend about your suspicions.
8. Don't become a backstabber yourself.
Part 2 of 3: Handling a Backstabbing Friend
1. Stay calm.
2. Encourage the backstabber's good side.
3. Ask to speak to the backstabber directly.
4. Honestly describe the situation without making the other
person feel
threatened.
5. Listen to the other person's story
6. Forgive your friend when you are ready.
7. Confide in a friend about your suspicions.
8. Talk about your friendship and any other problems that
come up.
9. Be willing to change.
10. If all else fails, end the friendship. Sometimes, you
can't recover the trust
the betrayal
cost your friendship.
Part 3 of 3: Dealing with a Backstabbing Coworker
1. Don't let the coworker interfere with your work.
2. Give the backstabbing coworker positive ways to
contribute.
3. Discuss the situation privately with the backstabber.
4. Back up your claims with records.
5. Set up a meeting with a manager if your employment is in
jeopardy.
However, the Bible explains:
Matthew 5:44 (NKJV): But I say to you, love your
enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for
those who spitefully use you and persecute you,
Luke 6:28 (NKJV): bless those who curse you, and pray
for those who spitefully use you.
Matthew 10:16 (NKJV): “Behold, I send you out as sheep in
the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.
James 1:19 (NKJV): So then, my beloved brethren, let
every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;
Romans 12:19 (NKJV): Beloved, do not avenge yourselves,
but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will
repay,” says the Lord.
Memorable Quotes:
“Don’t worry about those who talk behind your back. They are
behind you for a reason.” - unknown
“Try not to take
things personally. What people say about you is a reflection of THEM not you.”
– unknown
“Live in such a way that if anyone spoke badly about you no
one would believe it.” – unknown
“Be careful with your words. Once they are said, they can
only be forgiven, not forgotten.” – unknown
“Branding is what people say about you when you are not in
the room.” – unknown
“Haters don’t really hate you. They hate themselves because
you are a reflection of what they wish to be.” – unknown
“Some people you have
to love from a distance.” – unknown
“Haters will see you walk on water and say it’s because you
cannot swim.” – unknown
We must always remember Jesus Christ’s relationship with
Judas Iscariot. He was one of the twelve disciples.
Yes…Jesus dealt with a “backstabber” too. (Luke 22:3-4; 21-22; 47)
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