“If You Wait…”

I ran upon this quote and found it to be profound:

“If You Wait to Do Everything for Everybody,

Instead of Doing Something for Somebody,

You’ll End up not doing Anything  for Anybody.” – Malcolm Bane

I have seen Facebook posts from people who:

• Complained that enough is not being done for the homeless.
• Criticized others for not responding to those in storms, such as hurricanes, tornadoes or snow storms.
• Wondered why the church doesn’t do more to feed the homeless.

The question is:   How many homeless people have you fed?

We all have the capacity to do SOMETHING to help someone else. It can be as simple as a phone call, a text, a card, a meal, a Facebook post or a word of encouragement.

The Bible says:

Deuteronomy 15:11 (NIV): 11 There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your fellow Israelites who are poor and needy in your land.

James 2:14-17 (NKJV):  14 What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? 17 Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.

Hebrews 13:16 (NIV): 16 And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.

Galatians 6:9 (NIV): 9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Powerful Quotes:

“We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone.”  - Ronald Reagan

“If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.”  - Mother Teresa

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is ‘What are you doing for others?’ “ – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

“No one has ever become poor by giving.” – Anne Frank

“One of the secrets of life is that all that is really worth doing is what we do for others.” - Lewis Carroll

“Only a life lived for others is a life worth living.” - Albert Einstein

"Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth."  - Muhammed Ali

“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them. “ – Dalai Lama

If every one of us did one kind thing for someone else, the ripple effects would be wonderfully vast, epic and monumental… 

The Experience of “Unconditional” Love

We often are guilty of saying we love someone …

• If they do what we say;
• If they act how WE think they should act;
• Because we have to since they are my spouse, children or relatives;
• Because the Bible says I have to.

This is love “with conditions” or strings attached.

I always wondered what “unconditional” love felt like. Although I believe my parents love me unconditionally, I always and still do feel a sense of obligation to measure up to this.

I believe I have gotten a true “taste” of this…and it feels incredible!

Cases in Point:

I am blessed to have a host of people who I love and who love me. However, it has taken this “health challenge” for me to experience the depth of “Unconditional Love.”

#1 - Although I am managing MS and am determined to remain as independent as I can, a church member and couple have taken our church theme “Working Together as a Team in 2015” to heart. They decided that I didn’t need to stress myself and have strategically picked me up and taken me to worship at our 7:45 a.m. service for most of this new year. It is approximately 35 minutes out of their way each way. It requires them to get up around 5:00 a.m.

Yet, they do it so freely, so effortlessly…expecting nothing in return. I feel so in-debt to them, yet it’s one they will not allow me to repay. They don’t complain about it, lecture me about my health, advise me, rush me or stress me…they just exude pure love on me. I get “tears of gratitude” in my eyes every Sunday. They are modeling for me what I strive to be to others. They are teaching me a new level of love that I think I have given, but never felt worthy to receive.

#2 - I also reflect on my 78-year-old cousin who religiously picks up and brings home my 98-year-old grandmother to go with her to church. Whenever we thank her, she smiles and says, “No, I just want to thank you for trusting her care to me and allowing me to be a blessing to her because it also blesses me.”

Isn’t this the kind of love that Jesus Christ had for us? He died a horrific, agonizing death on the cross to erase our “debt” of sin…one in which He doesn’t require us to repay.

The Bible says:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV):  4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails...

Romans 12:9 (NKJV): 9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good.

1 Corinthians 13:13 (NKJV): 13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

John 3:16 (NKJV): 16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Matthew 22:37 (NKJV): 37 Jesus said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.”

Memorable Quotes:

“Love people for who they are and not for what you want them to be. That’s where the disconnection starts."

Love is not "if" or "because". Love is "anyway" and "even though" and "in spite of.”

“Love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. To love somebody isn’t just a strong feeling. It’s a decision, a judgment and a promise.”

 “The most beautiful people are those who can love without expecting it in return.”

 “Love is the absence of judgment.” – Dalai Lama

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."

 “I crave a love so deep the ocean would be jealous.”

 If you want unconditional love, then give it…

“Cyberbullying” – My Own Personal Experience

Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of social or physical power. Behaviors used to assert such domination can include verbal harassment or threat, physical assault or coercion, and such acts may be directed repeatedly towards particular targets. Rationalizations for such behavior sometimes include differences of social class, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, appearance, behavior, body language, personality, reputation, lineage, strength, size or ability. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying

I never had to deal with “bullying” as a child. Being an identical triplet, no one wanted to threaten three identical people at once. Also, I had the protection of two big brothers and an older sister.

As my faith has grown, I am grounded in the understanding to WHOM I belong. Although words and rudeness sting, I forgive quickly, ask for God’s forgiveness & guidance daily, and remain focused on the goal – to rest in eternal peace with HIM one day.

I love Social Media. It extends my reach in my ability to pray for, encourage and stay in touch with others. I have been aware of the issue of “cyber bullying,” but never took it to heart or thought it was relevant to me.

“Cyberbullying" is the use of information technology to repeatedly harm or harass other people in a deliberate manner. According to U.S. Legal Definitions, Cyber-bullying could be limited to posting rumors or gossips about a person in the internet bringing about hatred in other’s minds; or it may go to the extent of personally identifying victims and publishing materials severely defaming and humiliating them.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberbullying

I recently, questioned and clarified a Facebook “friend’s” derogatory post. He came at me “with guns blazing.” He attacked my character, my integrity, my judgment and my place of worship (a church in which he left.) Although I apologized for his misperception of what I had said and he accepted my apology, he continued the attacks toward me. He even said that his other Facebook associates thought poorly of me.

I toiled during the night about it. I then woke up with this quote in mind: “Never waste time trying to explain yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you.”

I then realized that“what others think about me is none of my business.”

Why would I care what other people think about me who I don’t know and, who obviously, don’t know me? This is gained through spiritual maturity and wisdom

I realized that I had a means of protecting myself and used it….I regretfully “unfriended” him. I was enduring persecution that I had the power to stop.

I am also reminded of Romans 8:28 (NKJV): “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”

Ironically, I am grateful for the experience:

• I now know what “cyberbullying” is about.
• I now understand the emotional pain it can cause.
• I now understand how it can seem endless, even if you apologize.
• I now understand why it is so important to know yourself.
• I now am crystal-clear as to my TRUST and FAITH in the Lord.
• I now am more empathetic when I hear of people being bullied.
• I now pray deeply for the “bullies”…for only “hurt people hurt people.”

Genesis 50:20 (NKJV): “But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.”

It is wise for us to recognize that we all have the power to extend kindness and forgiveness, because one day, we are all going to need it…not only from other people, but more importantly, from the Lord…

“At the End of the Day…”

This was a mantra repeated often by the NYC Managing Director of a nonprofit where I worked. I found it to be amusing, yet so starkly true.

“At the end of the day” is an American idiom and phrasal verb that means: (Literally) at the time when work or one's waking hours end; (Figuratively)  when everything else has been taken into consideration; (Informally) something that you say before you say what you believe to be the most important fact of a situation;  finally, in the end.”  http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/at+the+end+of+the+day

We can rationalize, pontificate, debate, argue, and passionately defend or refute anything we want. But…it will not change the irrefutable facts that are present.

Some modern day examples are:

• Just because you deny you are pregnant will not stop the baby from arriving in 9 months;
• Just because you took electives in college, such as Swimming, Roller Skating and Tennis to get an “easy A” (since you knew how to do them well) did not exempt you from coming to class, doing the assignments or taking the tests to pass the course;
• Just because you “hate” President Barack Obama and vehemently disagree with his policies will not erase the numbers that indicate he will go down in history as one of the greatest Presidents in Modern Times; 
• You may solicit advice and go to doctors, but managing your own health is ultimately your responsibility.

This rings true when it comes to believing God and preparing for Christ's return.

The Bible says:

Matthew 24:44 (NKJV): Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.

2 Peter 3:10 (NKJV):  But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night, in which the heavens will pass away with a great noise, and the elements will melt with fervent heat; both the earth and the works that are in it will be burned up.

James 5:8 (NKJV):  You also be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand.

Memorable Quotes:

"At the end of the day, it’s not about what you have or what you’ve accomplished.  It's about who you've lifted up, who you've made better. It's about what you've given back." — Denzel Washington

“At the end of the day, you can either focus on what's tearing you apart, or what's holding you together.”

"If you can't fly then run. If you can't run then walk. If you can't walk then crawl. But whatever you do you have to Keep Moving Forward."  - Martin Luther King Jr.

“At the end of the day, it’s the choices you make that count.”  - Lucas Scott

“At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can.” ~ Frida Kahlo

“At the end of the day, let there be no excuses, no explanations, no regrets.”  - Dr. Steve Maraboli

“At the end of the day, your health is your responsibility. – Jillian Michaels

And Finally…

"At the end of the day, who you are is totally and completely up to you."

“People Don’t Care What You Know…”

….until they know that you care…”

I can’t help but think about this, especially in our political landscape. As candidates gear up for the 2016 Presidential Elections, they are busy forming exploratory committees, PACs, fundraisers, and image-making machines.

They seem to forget the simplest, cheapest and most effective tool over any formidable opponent…COMPASSION and EMPATHY.

I would hope that the past unsuccessful candidates would learn this. The media wants to hype the last mid-term elections as a “sweep” of one political party over another. I see it as a result of  1). People didn’t feel that anyone cared and didn’t go to the polls to vote; and 2). The winning candidates found enough people to go vote.  No one really won…especially if the newly-elected officials don’t get it either.

This becomes evident when all you can see is:

....politicians boasting of their knowledge and business acumen.

…failure to cooperate on legislation that could help their constitutes simply because of who recommended it.

…their push for policies that only benefit themselves.

…their making no effort to try to empathize with or understand their constituents.

…not raising the minimum wage; not supporting veteran’s benefits; and rallying against Medicaid, Social program and healthcare simply because you don’t want some-one else getting the credit.

…Former Presidential candidate Mitt Romney and his “47%” comment, as though this segment of people don’t matter, only the other 53% do (which contributed to his loss.)

I am learning this even more so, while navigating some health challenges. I can sense if a doctor or healthcare provider cares about ME or if they are just trying to fulfill the required number of appointments for the day.

The Bible says:

Philippians 2:4 (NKJV):  Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

Galatians 6:10 (NKJV): 10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.

1 John 3:17 (NKJV): 17 But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV): 11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Memorable Quotes:

“Life is an echo. What you send out, comes back. What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get. What you see in others, exists in you.” – Zig Ziglar

“People won’t remember what you said; People won’t remember what you did. People will never forget how you made them feel.” – Dr. Maya Angelou

“Kindness is a language that we all can understand. Even the blind can see it and the deaf can hear it.”  - Mother Teresa

“Do you not know that God entrusted you with that money (all above what buys necessities for your families) to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to help the stranger, the widow, the fatherless; and, indeed, as far as it will go, to relieve the wants of all mankind? How can you, how dare you, defraud the Lord, by applying it to any other purpose?”  -  John Wesley

“What if it becomes less about how we look and more about how much we care? What if it becomes less about how much money we earn and more about how much we share our good fortune? Imagine a world where who we are in our hearts is the ultimate status symbol.” -  Amy Leigh Mercree

“Who doesn't want to know that we notice them and value them? And who might respond to us better when they feel that they matter? It probably cannot be overstated – it matters...that people matter.” -  Steve Goodier

When we can shift our focus from caring only about ourselves to one of  caring about each other, the world will be a better place…

“Tell ‘Em That I Just Don’t Know…”

I reflected on watching Jimmy Kimmel Live! one night and hearing him recount the following:.

A street performer was playing his guitar in front of a grocery store in Texas. A gentleman joined in with lyrics. Another added in a rap. It ended up being an impromptu jam session that a store manager at an adjacent store just stumbled upon and recorded it. He uploaded it to his Facebook page and it went “viral.” It has now gotten over 7 million views. Jimmy Kimmel invited them on his late night show, as well as other performers to have another jam session. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VZtTye-bWU

A few of the lyrics include:

“This is my life, all I’ve wished for, all I’ve wasted; This is my time, good sensations, motivation, down, regrets and blogged down; on the blue sky; Oh…you know we both try…

I’ve been down and I’ve been wasted; I don’t think I’ve got the patience to say what I need to say…

I don’t know what you came to do…We came…I just don’t know…

Tell ‘em that I just don’t know…don’t know…

Sometimes I just don’t know….don’t know…

Tell ‘em that I just don’t know…”

The more I reflected on this song, the more I began to realize the fact that God does not need us to know everything.

The Bible says:

Luke 23:34 (NKJV):  Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”

Isaiah 55:8 (NKJV): “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.

Matthew 24:36 (NIV):  “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son,[a] but only the Father.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV): Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct[a] your paths.

Ecclesiastes 11:5 (NIV):  As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed[a] in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.

1 Corinthians 8:2 (NIV):  Those who think they know something do not yet know as they ought to know.

Hebrews 11:1 (NKJV):  Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Powerful Quotes:

“Stop thinking so much. It's ok not to know all the answers.”

“Be okay with not knowing for sure what might come next, but know that whatever it is…you will be okay.”

 “It may take a year, it may take a day; but what’s meant to be, will always find a way.”

“I need to learn how to be content with simply not knowing, and be at peace with the notion that everything does not need an explanation.”

“I don’t know what my future holds, but I know who holds my future.” – Tim Tebow

“You don't have to have it all figured out to move forward.”

It is not important to know everything. They keys are faith and trust in God.

Avoid “Identity Theft”

We are in a society now that is consumed with “selfies” and being influenced by factors such as Social Media, celebrities and reality TV. Many of us are slowly losing sight of who we are.

I remember this assessment:

“We are not who we are…

We are not who others think we are…

We are who we THINK others think we are…”

Anais Nin says, “We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

Rick Warren discusses this on his blog in an article titled Embrace Your Identity In Christ: Your faith will grow stronger as you focus on your identity in Christ. What this means is that you abandon any image of yourself that is not from God. You stop accepting what others have said about you, how others have labeled you, and how others have defined you. You start believing what God says about you, that he is pleased with how he created you, and that God defines you. You’re not defined by your feelings. You’re not defined by the opinions of others or by your circumstances. You’re not defined by your successes or failures. You’re not defined by the car you drive, the money you make, or the house you say you own when the bank really does. http://rickwarren.org/devotional/english/embrace-your-identity-in-christ

The Bible says:

Genesis 1:27 (NIV): 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Jeremiah 1:5 (NIV): "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

1 Peter 2:9 (NIV): But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

2 Corinthians 1:22 (NLT):  and he has identified us as his own by placing the Holy Spirit in our hearts as the first installment that guarantees everything he has promised us.

Powerful Quotes:

“Never forget who you are.” – The Lion King

“Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?”

“You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it.”

"Close your eyes and imagine the best version of you possible. That's who you really are, let go of any part of you that doesn't believe it." - C. Assaad

“It’s not who you are that holds you back; it’s who you think you’re not.”

“When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” – Dr. Maya Angelou

"The world will try to tell you that you need stuff to be somebody. Don't listen." - Dave Ramsey

“Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth.”

“Unless you know who you are, you will always be vulnerable to what people say.” -  Dr. Phil

“Satan knows your name and calls you by your sin. God knows your sin but calls you by your name.”

We must never allow our identity to be stolen. We have to remember who we are in Christ…

“Wisdom Painfully-Acquired”

Wisdom is defined as “knowledge that is gained by having many experiences in life; the natural ability to understand things that most other people cannot understand; knowledge of what is proper or reasonable : good sense or judgment.” http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/wisdom

Being a “native Middle Tennessean,” I have to say that I was utterly ashamed, disappointed and embarrassed to see our elite college, Vanderbilt University, portrayed in such a dismal, negative light in late 2014 on ABC’s “20/20” show. They did an in-depth show about the Vanderbilt Rape Trial. A total of four promising young football athletes became excessively drunk one night and sexually-assaulted an also-drunk and unconscious young woman, who was the girl friend or acquaintance of one of them. He then texted videos of the assault to his friends. Two were found guilty during their trial and can anticipate serving a minimum of 15-20 years in prison. The other two's trial date has not been set.

Our choices and decisions affect more than we may ever realize. They affect:

Our parents…

Our grandparents…

Our siblings…

Our relatives…

Our church…

The university…

The university’s Alumni…

The football team…

The city (Nashville)…

The region of the state (Middle Tennessee)…

The state (Tennessee)…

All males…

The United States……to name a few.

It even affected me!

I don’t even know them personally or their parents. I did not attend Vanderbilt University. But I know people who went there or work there.

Why am I so affected?

Circa 1982. My sisters and I (identical triplets) were the first in our immediate family to go to college. I was blessed with the ultimate filter of not wanting to see the look of horror and “profound disappointment” on their faces, if I did something out-of-line from how I was raised. Too many people were vested in my success. My college degree was not my own. It was my parents', my four grandparents', my family’s, and my community’s degree.

I wasn’t perfect. I did make some unwise choices and mistakes along the way. But this “ultimate filter” plus my faith always pulled me back in line. It helped draw me away from peer pressure. It didn’t matter what the “culture” was on campus or what was deemed “socially acceptable.” They didn’t have to look into my parents’ faces…I did.

“Never base your life decision on advice from people who don’t have to live with the results.”  

The Bible says:

Matthew 10:16 (NKJV):  “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.”

Proverbs 3:7 (NKJV): Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and depart from evil.

Proverbs 3:35 (NKJV): The wise shall inherit glory, But shame shall be the legacy of fools.

Memorable Quotes:

“Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” – Dalai Lama

"What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create." ~ Buddha

"Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most." - Abraham Lincoln

“Show respect even to people who don’t deserve it, not as a reflection of their character, but as a reflection of yours.”  - Dave Willis

Lesson Learned: Your life is not just about you. Your decisions affect more than you may ever realize. The consequences can be devastating. Through our Experiences, we acquire wisdom...sometimes, at a high and painful cost...