“Unsolicited" Advice

Advice is defined as “an opinion or suggestion about what someone should do; recommendation regarding a decision or course of conduct.” Unsolicited is defined as “not searched or asked for.” http://www.merriam-webster.com

One of my sisters has adamantly insisted on her disdain of what she calls “unsolicited advice.” Her definition is when others feel the need to give you advice that you neither asked for nor are they offering any resources to support, i.e. money, time, options, etc.

One of the things that I am working on is to no longer give unsolicited advice.

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as WE ARE.”- Anais Nin

I realize that in my life, I have given people so much advice and was disappointed and stunned if they did not follow it.

As I grow in wisdom, I am more cognizant that I may have given advice based on my experiences & how I see the world, not how it really is.

I recall an instance while I was in college. I had went to my hometown and visited with my older brothers. They were making some choices that I personally did not think were very wise. One looked at the other and inquired, “Why don’t you give us all the advice everyone else is giving us?” I calmly looked at them both and replied,” Well…first of all, you guys are my big brothers. Shouldn’t you be advising me? Secondly, if you are not going to follow Mom’s advice (which I agree with), who am I? Finally, I can’t swoop in & tell you how to live your lives and return to college to live mine. We all have one life to live.”

Key phrases to be aware of are:

“If I were you, I would…”

“You ought to…”

“What you should do (say, or think) is…”

“What has always worked for me is…”

I had a recent experience where I was “advised” what to think, what to say, how I should express my faith, how I should handle my health challenges, how I should express myself in the written word as well as on Social Media, etc. In the past, I would spend passionate time expressing my point-of-view and countering this rationale. I would also doubt myself and try to adapt to someone else’s opinion of my life.

Newfound wisdom is teaching me to “remain silent.”

My relationship with God does not dictate an explanation to anyone. When you are being “lead by HIM,” you must cut out the chatter and focus ONLY on Him.

I must stay in close communion with Him. I have fallen in the past to adhering to advice from people who believed they knew me and knew the direction my life should go. I am told to be aware of the message I am giving and what I am trying to communicate.

What people don’t know is that the message is NOT COMING FROM ME. It is coming THROUGH ME. I HAVE to communicate it…I have no choice. For the first time in my life, I have to ignore this human “chatter,” even masked under spiritual intent.

I don’t know why I am blogging, or why I have become as open as I have about my life and my current health challenges. I personally have always been a very private person. Maybe God needs me to say this so that others can be lead to Him? I really don’t know.

I find that I am quoting like a mantra Proverb 3:5-6 (NKJV): “5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”

For once in my life, I am just going to surrender and see where God is leading me. I must….

So...Thanks, but No Thanks. God’s Advice & Direction is all I need…