“Not Prepared to Receive…”

I often marvel:

• How people will stand in long lines to win the $100 million dollar Power Ball Lottery. Many have won. Yet within a few years, they are broke.
• Athletes “go pro” and sign multi-million dollar contracts. They immediately go from poverty to ultra-wealthy. Many are more focused on the access this new money provides instead of their athletic skill. Within a few years, they find themselves released from the team and in financial trouble.
• Many entertainers pray for success and fame. They get it fast and find themselves overwhelmed. They weren’t prepared for the loss of privacy and ridicule that came along with it. Some succumb to drugs, alcohol and bad behavior. They end up being “one-hit wonders.”
• Example:  You prayed for new furniture. God Answered. He is trying to move in the brand new American Signature furniture you prayed for. The truck and movers are right outside your door…but you’ve got to move out the old furniture.

In the movie Facing the Giants, a teacher told this story to the coach:

Two men prayed for rain for their crops. One tilled his fields, preparing to receive it. The other did not. Whose Faith was strongest? You need to go prepare your fields for rain.

Many of us fall guilty to this. We ask, plead and pray for blessings we are not prepared to receive.

As with the lottery example, people are advised to have a lawyer, financial advisor and accountant in place before coming to claim the money. Some advise the winner to remain anonymous

Life offers opportunities somewhat like an assembly line. They will continuously present themselves to you. It is up to us to prepare ourselves to receive them.

The Bible discusses this in Matthew 25:1-12 (NKJV) in “The Parable of the Wise and Foolish Virgins.” It basically highlights 10 virgins who took their lamps to meet the bridegroom. Five took oil with them; five did not. While the bridegroom was delayed, they all slept. At midnight, when it was announced that he was approaching, five did not have oil to trim their lamps. Although they rushed to purchase more, they returned to find the door to the wedding shut.

James 4:3 (NIV):  When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

Memorable Quotes

“Be careful what you ask for. You just might get it.”

 “Spectacular achievement is always preceded by unspectacular preparation.” - Robert H. Schuller

“I feel that luck is preparation meeting opportunity.” - Oprah Winfrey

“A winning effort begins with preparation.” - Joe Gibbs

“Be careful not to compromise what you want most for what you want now.” - Zig Ziglar

“Don't think your dreams don't come true, because they do. You'd better be careful what you wish for.”  - Barbara Billingsley

“The way you can be careful of the catastrophe that success can bring is by paying attention to something else that comes along with success - responsibility.” - El DeBarge

“Sometimes we may ask God for success, and He gives us physical and mental stamina. We might plead for prosperity, and we receive enlarged perspective and increased patience, or we petition for growth and are blessed with the gift of grace. He may bestow upon us conviction and confidence as we strive to achieve worthy goals.” - David A. Bednar

Pay attention. Make sure you are clear about what you ask and prepared to receive it. 

Sympathy vs. Empathy

What is the difference between empathy and sympathy?

Both empathy and sympathy are feelings concerning other people. Sympathy is literally 'feeling with' - compassion for or commiseration with another person. Empathy, by contrast, is literally 'feeling into' - the ability to project one's personality into another person and more fully understand that person. You feel empathy when you've "been there", and sympathy when you haven't.  http://dictionary.reference.com/help/faq/language/d23.html

Sympathy is defined as “the feeling that you care about and are sorry about someone else's trouble, grief, misfortune, etc.; sorrow or pity for another <She felt sympathy for the poor lost puppy.> http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sympathy

Empathy is “the feeling that you understand and share another person's experiences and emotions.” Empathy denotes a deep emotional understanding of another's feelings or problems, while Sympathy is more general and can apply to small annoyances or setbacks. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/empathy

I have always considered myself a “sympathetic” person. Now I realize that my life lacked “empathy.”

My realization between the two was dealing with death.

Before I experienced it, I would feel sympathy and tell others, “I am so sorry for your loss.” This was expressed from imagining what I might feel like having to deal with this…but never have.

After experiencing it, I now feel empathy and express sincere sorry…having gone through the experience and truly understanding what it feels like.

With my current health challenges and new limited mobility, I am forced to spend a lot of time alone…often in silence. I now understand the feelings of loneliness and insignificance people often feel. 

This inspires me to send cards, notes or make phone calls to others…especially those in nursing homes, assisted living facilities or those who are home-bound. They need to know that their existence is recognized and it does matter by at least SOMEBODY on this planet. Although we each matter to God, He may be using you to express this to others. They key is to allow Him to use you to do this.

Thus, there is a need for both.

The Bible Says:

Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV):  And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Romans 12:15 (NKJV):  Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.

Matthew 7:12 (NKJV):  Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

Galatians 6:2 (NKJV):  Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

1 Corinthians 12:26 (NKJV):  And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.

Mark 12:31(NKJV):  And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Memorable Quotes

"Empathy is... seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and feeling with the heart of another."

"Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are." ~ Benjamin Franklin

“Sitting silently beside a friend who is hurting may be the best gift you can give.” – unknown

 “The greatest cruelty is our casual blindness to the despair of others.”

“It’s hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember.”

The most profound explanation of sympathy and empathy is:

THE ESSENCE OF COMPASSION

"Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and wrong…because sometime in your life you will have been all of these."

“I Know You Are Busy…”

I did a post several months ago called “Removing the Filters.”  It discussed my former boss’s reprimand to me when he would ask about my lack of follow up with a prospective client. I would say, “He just took on this new role. He is probably too busy to move forward at this time.” My boss would inquire, “How do you know? Did you ask him?”  I had to reply, “No…I just assumed…”

Even recently, I had given a friend some advice. She acted on it with exciting results. She emailed me saying, “I know you are busy, but I just had to tell you what happened.” I replied back, “Too Busy? Are you kidding me? This is great news!”

Oftentimes, the most beautiful women – models, celebrities and beauty queens – are the loneliest. Men ASSUME they are already taken and do not ask them out.

It made me reflect on how often I do this. It usually sounds like:

• “I know you must have a busy schedule.”
• “I know you are dealing with your own issues and probably don’t have time for mine.”
• “I know you must be too busy as a wife and working Mom of three kids…”
• “I know I’m probably bothering you…”
• “I hate to inconvenience you…”
• “I know your plate must be too full to talk with me.”

I think I say this to soften the blow of rejection. When, actually, I am missing out on huge blessings. The truth is YOU REALLY DON’T KNOW…because I haven’t told you. If I were too busy, I would either tell you or not respond immediately to voice-mails, emails or texts.

We also make this mistake with God. We assume that, since God has 7.6 billion people on the planet to look after, He probably doesn’t have time for “little ole me.” However, this assumption only minimizes God.

“Don’t tell God how big your problems are; Tell your problems how big God is.”

On the blog Explore God, Andy Ramos notes this in his post: “How Big Is God?”

According to Jewish and Christian beliefs, the most incredible thing about the Creator is that he cares about us, the people he created—you and me. He didn’t craft the universe in order to make us feel insignificant. He did it to display his power and show us his infinite love.

He is a God powerful enough to create worlds, yet detailed and thoughtful enough to knit us each together in our mothers’ wombs. (Psalms 19:13). He is intimately involved in even the tiniest aspect of creating life.

So how big is God, exactly? He is so huge that he is not bound by time or space, not needing or wanting for anything, and capable of creating our entire universe. Yet he is personal enough to have created us in his own image.(Genesis 1:27)  Biblical literature teaches that we are fearfully and wonderfully made under God’s watchful care,(Psalms 139:14) that God even knows the number of hairs on each head.(Luke 12:7) http://www.exploregod.com/how-big-is-god

The Bible says:

Genesis 1:1(NKJV):  In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

Exodus 15:18 (NKJV):  “The Lord shall reign forever and ever.”

2 Peter 3:8 (NKJV):  But, beloved, do not forget this one thing, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.

Memorable Quotes

Before you assume, try this crazy method called “asking.”

“Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it.”

“Never assume that you're stuck with the way things are. Life changes every single moment and so can you.”

“Don’t assume you know me by what you heard. I grow daily. Your messenger might have outdated information.”

“Our unknown future is in the hands of the all-knowing God.”

 “God’s ability is not limited by man’s ability to understand.”  

We should consider assuming less and trusting God more…

Living Life “Oblivious”

Oblivious is defined as: “Not aware or not concerned with what is happening around one. https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=oblivious

It’s funny how we just go through life oblivious to anyone or anything else. We are so “All About Me” that we don’t see and thus ignore others during:

• Quiet Suffering
• Financial difficulties
• Disappointments
• Health challenges
• Depression
• Waning Health
• Aging

We continue to boast of our totally-together-thriving families, health, finances and material possessions. We justify it by calling it is a “blessing.” It is only a TRUE BLESSING to God if you are using it to draw others to Him. Are you giving Him the glory?

We gravitate toward believing that we did this all on our own. Oftentimes…it appears effortless.

We don’t even consider our own mortality.

Satan is so cunning to make us believe that we will live in our optimum state of being forever.

We also seem to believe that these material things matter…as though we can take them with us

Music Icon Michael Jackson sung about this in his epic hit son "Man In The Mirror." A few of the lyrics are:

“As I, Turn Up The Collar On My, Favorite Winter Coat

This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind, I See The Kids In The Street,

With Not Enough To Eat, Who Am I, To Be Blind?

Pretending Not To See Their Needs…

Chorus:  I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror

I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways

And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer

If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place

Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change”

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/michaeljackson/maninthemirror.html

Consider this:

If you “drop dead” right this minute:

• People will be shocked.
• They will grieve.
• They will have you a fabulous funeral.
• Your remains will be buried in a standard 6’ grave in the cemetery.
• There will be a wonderful repass.
• Your survivors will have the ominous task of “going through your stuff,” dividing up your assets and settling your affairs.
• You now become a memory.

As profound, legendary and worldwide as Elvis Presley; Michael Jackson; Whitney Houston; Robin Williams, Martin Luther King, Jr.; Lady Diana or Steve Jobs’ lives WERE…they are now memories… They are no longer here.

The only true legacy we can have is in what we have left in the hearts of others.  Who did we feed…or encourage…or help? This is how we live on…

The Bible says:

Job 1:21(NKJV):   And he said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked shall I return there. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

Hebrews 2:1(NIV):  We must pay the most careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away.

Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV):  And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Matthew 7:12 (NKJV):  Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

1 Corinthians 12:26 (NKJV):  And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.

Memorable Quotes

“People won't remember what you did. People won't remember what you said. But people will always remember the way you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

“Everybody can’t help everyone; but everyone can help somebody.” – Ronald Reagan

 “You learn something every day if you pay attention.” – Ray LeBond

We should strive to be more aware to what is beside us or in front of us with the same fervor that God is paying attention to us… 

“Mired in the Minutia"

Minutia is a minute or minor detail. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/minutia

The phrase "mired in a minutia" means you are paying attention to/obsessing over minor/petty details that aren't really important to whatever is going on. Minutia (also spelled minutiae) is a noun meaning "precise details; small or trifling matters." http://www.chacha.com/question/what-does-it-mean-to-get-mired-in-a-minutia

In an article titled Mired in the Minutia: Things That Make You Panic are Details in the Fabric by Thomas von Ahn, he explains:

"The things that make you panic are the details in the fabric. Sometimes we get so mired in the minutiae that we forget to look at root cause. Minor details are important to the fabric that weaves success. But they can take away your focus on the entire ensemble. Executing the small things can be the difference between success and failure. However, overlooking the big picture at the expense of constantly rolling masking tape over the lint, will lead you to panic, after the details receive too much attention."
http://transomeme.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/mind-blowing-beaker-300x300.jpg

It is so easy to get “mired in the minutia” or minor details of life while ignoring the beauty and blessings around us. It is easy to feel, that in the grand scheme of things, your small existence is of no importance to God. But, it is...  We can also get so consumed with small, insignificant things that we overlook the most important ones.

On the website Answers by Billy Graham, he was asked:

Q: I don't think God really cares what happens to us. The universe is so huge and we're so small, so why should He worry about us? He's too big to be interested in what happens to us, and we ought to be honest enough to admit we're on our own.

A: If God were like us — limited, and able to concentrate on only a few things at a time — then you might be right; He probably wouldn’t care about us. After all, you and I can barely keep track of what’s happening in our own lives, let alone what’s happening to everyone else.

But God isn’t like this! We are limited — but He is not. We can’t keep track of everything that’s happening — but He can. You say God is “too big” to care about us, but that’s the point: He is so great that He knows about even the smallest details of our lives. Perhaps you like to think God doesn’t care about us, because it leaves you free to live any way you want to. http://billygraham.org/answer/god-know-knows-and-cares-about-every-detail-of-our-lives/

The Bible says:

Jeremiah 1:5 (NKJV):  5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations.”

Luke 12:7 (NKJV):  7 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Hebrews 4:13 (NKJV):  13 And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.

Memorable Quotes

The essence of life is not in the great victories and grand failures, but in the simple joys. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Ask yourself, “Will this matter a year from now?” – Richard Carlson

“Don't Sweat the Small Stuff.” - Richard Carlson

“Don't let small minds convince you that your dreams are too big.”

"What lies before us and what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us. And when you bring what is within out into the world, miracles happen." - Henry David Thoreau

“You say I think too big. I say you think too small.”

“Sometimes your circle decreases in size, but increases in value.”

“I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean.” – Lee Ann Womack, I Hope You Dance

"There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living." - Nelson Mandela

“Your playing small does not serve the world.” – Marianne Williamson

Beware of getting so “mired down” with minor details that you overlook the grandeur and the amazing details of life around you.

Complaining = Whining

A very popular hymn that is often sung at church is I Won’t Complain.  Some of the lyrics are:

“I've had some good days;

I've had some hills to climb.

I've had some weary days ;

And some sleepless nights .

But when I look around ,

And I think things over.

All of my good days

Outweigh my bad days;

I won't complain.”

http://www.lyriczz.com/lyrics/paul-jones/23287-i-won't-complain/

 “Complain” is defined as: to say or write that you are unhappy, sick, uncomfortable, etc., or that you do not like something; to say (something that expresses annoyance or unhappiness).  http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/complain

As Christians, this concept is often misinterpreted. Stating “the struggle is real” is not complaining. It is being honest. Pretending not to hurt when you do is not noble or honored by God. It is HOW YOU DEAL WITH IT that matters.

If you do NOTHING: don’t follow doctor’s recommendations; are not obedient; don’t rely on God; don’t encourage anyone else or “stay stuck in your story,” yet proclaim you trust God, it simply does not reconcile. 

Remember: "The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again, yet expecting different results." - Benjamin Franklin

I have often heard others "complain" about their health; their jobs; their spouses and kids; their finances; the President; the government...anything and everything...without taking any responsibility or offering any recommendations.
"Complaining about a problem without posing a solution is called "WHINING.' " - Theodore Roosevelt

How can the world see God in you? How is God glorified in your complaining? HE isn't...

The Bible says:

James 2:26 (NKJV):  26 For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NKJV):  9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Philippians 2:14 (NKJV): 14 Do all things without complaining and disputing,

1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV):  18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:11-12 (NIV):  11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

James 1:2-4 (NIV):  2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Memorable Quotes:

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” – Maya Angelou

“Happiness comes when we stop complaining about the troubles we have and offer thanks for all the troubles we don't have.”

“When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness.”

“Don’t complain about things you are not willing to change.”

“Don’t complain about growing old, many, many people do not have that privilege.”

“Your life is a result of the choice you make...If you don't like your life, it is time to start making better choices.”

“Talk about your blessings more than you talk about your burdens.”

“Change: If you don't like where you are, move. You are not a tree.”

“Don’t let your struggle become your identity.” – Ralston  Bowles

“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” – Abraham Lincoln

“Don’t be upset by the results you didn’t get with the work you didn’t do."

“Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.” – Bob Marley

Moving forward, may we all try to allow God to USE us and our pain, grief, challenges and struggles to show His strength and infinite love for us. 
If I do this, then “I Won’t Complain…”

“It’s My Journey…"

Having never had any health issues within 48 years of life is truly a blessing. However, being diagnosed with MS three years ago has taken me down a path that is rocky, unpredictable and VERY NEW to me. I travel it with wonder, empathy, humility and perseverance.

When I say that “my health journey is mine to travel alone,” this does not discount the many family and friends who help and are affected along the way.

I think of Diana Nyad, who successfully swam from Cuba to Florida. Although there were many people who helped with event promotion, set-up, logistics, medical care and encouragement, SHE is the one who had to be in the water, swimming alone. http://www.cnn.com/2013/09/02/world/americas/diana-nyad-cuba-florida-swim/

I also think of a marathon runner, running for a cause like MS.

There are so many people affected directly and indirectly.

Such as…

…those who helped you train.

…those on the side-lines, cheering you on.

…those who are constantly giving you water along the way.

…those who give you clean towels or who wash your soiled ones.

…those who donated toward your efforts.

…the policeman having to work overtime to block the streets and provide

    added security.

…the EMTs having to be available in case of any health emergencies.

…the people offering up prayers on your behalf.

…media personnel covering the event.

Yes…so many people are affected by your journey. We acknowledge them and greatly appreciate them.

But…YOU are the one having to run. YOU are the one that must suffer the aches and pains. Only YOU are running this race. You are the one…the only one…who has to do the work…JUST YOU…

The Bible says:

1 Corinthians 9:24 (NIV): 24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

Hebrews 12:1(NKJV):  12 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

Philippians 3:13-14(NKJV):  13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

1 Corinthians 9:26 (NIV): 26 Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air.

Acts 20:24 (NIV):  24 However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.

Psalm 23:4 (KJV):  4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Memorable Quotes

"Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it." - John Maxwell

“I am learning to enjoy the journey, even when I don’t understand it.” – Mila Bron

“If you are going through Hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass;  it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

“Sometimes the people around you will not understand your journey. They don’t need to.  It’s not for them.”

“God knows the Journey you need to take before you do.”

Final thought:  “It’s your road and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.” – Rumi