R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

We all can sing along to that epic song by Aretha Franklin titled “R.E.S.P.E.C.T.” A few of the lyrics are:

What you want

Baby, I got

What you need

Do you know I got it?

All I'm askin'

Is for a little respect when you come home

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Find out what it means to me

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Take care, TCB

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/arethafranklin/respect.html

Merriam-Webster defines respect as “a feeling of admiring someone or something that is good, valuable, important, etc.; a feeling or understanding that someone or something is important, serious, etc., and should be treated in an appropriate way; a particular way of thinking about or looking at something”  http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/respect

I have often been amazed that the people demanding the most respect are themselves very disrespectful.  They are rude to waiters & waitresses, children, the elderly, animals, authority, even to our nation. Yet, they are the first to complain about being disrespected.

The principle of life is: “You can’t get what you don’t give.”

Again, I have observed parents allowing their children to talk to them rudely; or women allowing their boyfriend or husband to talk to them & treat them horribly and say nothing. Yet they sadly complain to others that they are being disrespected.

Another perspective is: “You can’t receive respect, if you don’t require it.”

The Bible talks about respect:

1 Peter 2:17 (NKJV): “Show respect for all men [treat them honorably]. Love the brotherhood (the Christian fraternity of which Christ is the Head). Reverence God. Honor the emperor.”

2 Corinthians 5:11 (NKJV): “Therefore, being conscious of fearing the Lord with respect and reverence, we seek to win people over [to persuade them]…”

1 Thessalonians 4:12 (NKJV): “So that you may bear yourselves becomingly and be correct and honorable and command the respect of the outside world, being dependent on nobody [self-supporting] and having need of nothing.”

1 Timothy 3:4 (NKJV): “He must rule his own household well, keeping his children under control, with true dignity, commanding their respect in every way and keeping them respectful.”

1 Timothy 3:11(NKJV): “ [The] women likewise must be worthy of respect and serious, not gossipers, but temperate and self-controlled, [thoroughly] trustworthy in all things.”

Quotes to Consider:

“Respect is for those who deserve it, not for those who demand it.”

“A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.”

“Respect yourself and others will respect you.” – Confucius

“Never give people permission to disrespect you.”

“Respect is earned not given.”

 “Seek respect, not attention. It lasts longer.”

 “You must be respectable, if you are to be respected.”

  “Putting your phone away and paying attention to those talking to you? 

   There’s an APP for that. It’s called ‘RESPECT.’ “ – unknown

Again, try following the advice of Aretha Franklin: “R-E-S-P-E-C-T…find out what it means to me”…

Have RESPECT for yourself…Require it…Give it…

“My Favorite INSULT…”

One of the most amusing insults I have ever been given is:

“You think you are better than everyone…”

In the past I either dismissed this or went on the defensive by saying, “No, I don’t…”

However, wisdom has taught me to remain silent and really listen to what is being said. I have learned to craft a clever, personal reply to this. It is:

“No…first of all…you don’t know my thoughts because I have never shared them with you. So…this has to reflect YOUR thoughts about me. And for the record…I don’t think I am better than anyone else. I may just want better for my life and am willing to work harder for it than most.”

The Bible guides us:

Matthew 5:11 (NIV): “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.”

1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV): “Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

Proverbs 13:20 (NIV): “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”

Luke 6:27-28 (NIV): “…Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”

Romans 12:17-18 (NIV): “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

In an article titled “How to Determine Why Someone Is Treating You Poorly,” more insight is given toward this:

Note how they act around you. Some of the possible signs might include: gossiping about you to others, ignoring you, saying hurtful things to you, breaking or stealing your stuff, belittling you, setting you up to get into trouble for something you didn't do or say, calling you names, implying that you're not as clever/good-looking/well-connected/valuable, etc. as them, intimidating you, leaving unfriendly/unkind messages about you on social networking sites, or breaking promises they swore they'd meet.

Ask yourself. Why do you need validation from them? Do you need them so much that you would have to supplicate them to make yourself better? It’s fine if they don't like you, who cares? Remember you are being insecure & needy if you care.

Move on. Remember that there's no point in dwelling in the past. Get on with your life and activities, surround yourself by people who aren't mean to you, and focus on what matters to you.

http://www.wikihow.com/Determine-Why-Someone-Is-Treating-You-Poorly

Quotes to Consider:

“What you say about other people says a lot about YOU.” – unknown

 “Listen carefully to how a person speaks about other people to you. This is how they will speak about you to other people.” – unknown

“People will always talk about you, especially when they envy you and the life you live. Let them. You affected their lives, they didn’t affect yours.” – unknown

“You talk a good game, but I’m watching how you play.” – unknown

 “Fact: Haters don’t really hate you. In fact, they hate themselves because you are a reflection of what they wish to be.” - unknown

However, one of the most profound words of wisdom for me is from Will Smith: “Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings, and emotions.”

The thing that I do know with certainty is:   I am a child of God. HE created me for a specific purpose. I will live my life in such a way that is pleasing to HIM, and strive every day to spend eternity with HIM.

“Temporary Assignment”

We invest enormous time into our physical bodies, trying to maintain its health & beauty, as though we are meant to be here forever.

Yes…we should enjoy life. However, the question is: Who is being blessed because of it?

We invest less time in extending a legacy. How many lives have you sowed into today? How many smiles, kind words, & Acts of Kindness have you given today? How many times have you told God “Thank you” today?

Satan is playing a grand “brain-wash” on us. He makes us believe that focusing on physical fitness; wearing provocative clothes; having optimum health: having healthy children…that this will last forever…that we will live forever.

Yes…your body is a “temple” and should be taken care of while we are here. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV): “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”

However, life truly does not make sense until you understand that you are not meant to be here forever.

James 4:14 (NKJV): “whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.”

Our physical life here is just a “temporary assignment” from God. We each individually have a purpose. God wants us to allow Him to use us…to let our light shine…so that others can see HIM through us. ..while we are here.

Cases In Point:

#1 - I have a friend whose company put him on a special work assignment out-of-state for 3 years. He had to relocate there. But, Guess What?

It’s only a “temporary assignment.” When the 3 years are up, he will either relocate back home to resume his previous responsibilities…or…be given a new assignment.

#2 – We often hear on the national news, “I am John Doe. On Special Assignment.” He may be covering a hurricane, a war, or a sporting event, i.e., The World Cup. However, when the assignment is complete, he either goes back to the anchor desk or on to another assignment.

Death is the end of our “temporary assignment.” God will call us to “corporate” to evaluate our obedience and faithfulness. Hopefully, we will  receive our new permanent placement (Heaven). Many will be given an “unsatisfactory evaluation” and the consequences will be horrible – yet permanent (Hell).

Matthew 7:13-14 (NKJV): “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.”

It would serve us all well to open up our eyes and hearts to get aligned with our God-given “temporary assignment,” ignore Satan’s distractions, and get to work before our assignment ends…

“What’s in Your (Spiritual) Wallet?"

Most of us are familiar with the TV commercial for Capital One’s Quick Silver credit cards. The spokesperson, TV actor Samuel L. Jackson asks, “What’s In Your Wallet?”

Our credit cards are considered one of our most important purchasing tools we have with us. Most of us also have the following items in our wallets:  Cash; Driver’s License; Insurance Card; Membership Cards; Wallet Photos; Receipts...and yes, even Lottery Tickets.

This led me to ask what should be in my “spiritual wallet?”

The Bible tells us:

1 Corinthians 13:13 (NKJV): 13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Galatians 5:22-23 (NKJV): 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.

Thus, we should have:

Faith – Hope – Love – Peace – Patience (Longsuffering) – Kindness – Goodness – Faithfulness – Gentleness – Self-Control

Other items to include may be:

Gratitude – Joy – Contentment – Perseverance – Resilience

These qualities should take up residence in our minds, mouths, hearts, and souls.

Since Satan is a cunning “thief,” possession of these would be great Theft Protection and Identity-Theft Prevention deterrents.

The Capital One Quicksilver card helps you “Earn Unlimited 1.5% Cash Back on All purchases.“ Just like the earthly credit card helps you earn “cash back rewards,” God offers us an eternal reward with him.

Luke 6:23 (NKJV): “Rejoice in that day and leap for joy! For indeed your reward is great in heaven, For in like manner their fathers did to the prophets.”

Colossians 3:24 (NKJV): ”knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.” 

It may be wise to evaluate what’s in your “spiritual wallet” on this journey called “Life,” as we all strive toward our reward from the Lord. 

“Suck It Up, Buttercup…”

When I see this quote on Pinterest, it is primarily used as a motivation for people to work out, work through the pain and fatigue, and to never quit.

Phrases relating to this include:

“Just stick with it…what seems hard now will one day be your warm up.”

“Sweat Dries. Blood Clots. Bones Heal. Suck it up, Buttercup.”

“Quit making excuses, putting it off, complaining about it, dreaming about it, whining about it, crying about it, believing you can't, worrying if you can, waiting until you're older, skinnier, richer, braver, or all around better. Suck it up, hold on tight, say a prayer, make a plan & JUST DO IT!” – NIKE ad

 “Suck It Up and one day you won’t have to Suck It In.”

The phrase “suck it up” is defined in the Urban Dictionary as: To endure a period of mental, physical, or emotional hardship with no complaining. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=suck+it+up  It appears that the word “buttercup” was added because it rhymes and implies for one to discontinue acting as fragile as a flower.

Quotes from this perspective include:

“Suck it up, Butter cup. Stop playing the victim.”

“Suck it up, and stop your whining.”

“Put your big girl panties and deal with it.”

 “The Pity Train…has just derailed at the corner of Suck It Up & Move On; and crashed into We All Have Problems; and come to a screeching halt at Get Over It.”

When I read this quote, I immediately disliked it. However, I am now not only receiving a full dose of it, I am finding that I have to say it to myself: 

…when I feel discouraged.

…when I feel too drained of energy.

…when I ache all over.

…when my mobility is most challenging.

…when people intentionally & unintentionally “hurt my feelings.”

…when my body will not do what my mind tells it to.

…when people are harsh, insensitive, and unempathetic.

When I say this to myself, I have an interesting image that appears in my mind:

It’s like the lieutenant of my military command saying to me during the heat of a tumultuous battle:

“I know it is tough, Soldier!!!

Yes, you have gotten some cuts and bruises.

Yes, you are hurting emotionally & physically.

Yes, even Satan is working you over spiritually."

However, the battle is not over.

VICTORY is through the rough terrain; amidst gunfire, dust, & smoke; over that mountain; across that lake; and through the brush.

Salvation is there.  Healing is there. Eternal Peace is there.

The Bible even tells us this in:

Hebrews 12:1 (NKJV): “Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,”

Ecclesiastes 9:11 (NKJV): “…The race is not to the swift, Nor the battle to the strong, Nor bread to the wise, Nor riches to men of understanding, Nor favor to men of skill; But time and chance happen to them all.”

So, Suck it up Buttercup, you got this… keep on moving…”

“Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying”

A profound quote from the 1994 movie Shawshank Redemption is what wrongly-convicted, 20-year prisoner Andy Dufrense (Tim Robbins) said to his fellow inmate Red (Morgan Freeman): “Get Busy Living, or Get Busy Dying.”

He went on to tell him in a letter: “Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.” http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111161/quotes

Unfortunately, most of us do neither. We are just “busy.”  

We operate unconsciously…in a fog.  Most of our existence consists of looking forward to the future with “one-day-I’m-gonnas.”  Others are so stuck in the past and harboring feelings of “whoa-is-me” and “life is not fair.” Some are so mired in their “woulda-shoulda-couldas” that they become more focused on the past, negativity, regrets and sadness, not realizing how closely they are approaching the end of life.

Basically, all we have is RIGHT NOW. If we don’t begin focusing on & enjoying the here & now, we will be sadly awaiting our eventual demise.

The Bible warns us of this:

Matthew 6:34 (NKJV): “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

Quotes to Consider:

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” – Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“The trick is to enjoy life. Don’t waste away your days, waiting for better ones.” – Marjorie Pay Hinckley

“It’s only possible to live happily-ever-after on a day-to-day basis.” – Margaret Bonnano

“Do not wait until you are ready to DIE to truly learn to LIVE.” – Dieter F. Uchtdorf

One of the ways to motivate us to keep moving forward is HOPE. A great acronym for hope is: Having Only Positive Expectations.

Remember: “Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.” - unknown

So…let’s GET BUSY LIVING…

Daily Gratitude

Gratitude is “a feeling of appreciation or thanks.”

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gratitude

I did an exercise prior to my 50^th Birthday (on May 18^th). I began on May 1^st and called it 18 Days of Gratitude. Every day, for 18 days, I had to post (on Facebook) something or someone whom I was grateful.  It was a very humbling, thought-provoking exercise.

We live in a society where gratitude is something “we just don’t have time for.”

We get up in the morning, go to work, come home, eat dinner, go to bed…and repeat it over again. We do this assuming it was just supposed to happen. We accumulate material things, earn wealth, enjoy great health, and fulfill accomplishments…all as if we did it all on our own.

The words “Thank You” have become obsolete.

The opposite also occurs. I personally have always been a “giver.” However, being in a position of needing to “receive” is difficult. I find myself dismissing the kindness or minimizing it. I often say things like: “You spent too much money on me…” or “You shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble…” I am learning to just say “Thank You,” and be grateful. I am learning that, when I deny someone the ability to be a blessing to me, I deem myself unworthy and may also be blocking the blessings that are going to come their way.

The Bible tells us to give thanks often. Several of these include:

1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NKJV): “in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. “

Psalm 107:8 (NKJV): “Oh,  that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness, And for His wonderful works to the children of men!”

Colossians 1:3 (NKJV): “We give thanks to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, praying always for you,”

1 Corinthians 15:57 (NKJV): “ But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”       

Quotes to Reflect On:

If the only prayer you said in your whole life is “Thank You”, that would suffice. – Meister Eckhart

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds a day. Have you used one to say “thank you?“ – unknown

“I am thankful for today.” - unknown

“Life is full of give & take. Give thanks and take nothing for granted.” - unknown

“Be thankful for what you have, you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” – Oprah Winfrey

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” – unknown

A simple but powerful beginning could be to begin each morning by saying: “Thank You, Lord for waking me up this morning. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. “

We should all strive to give & receive gratitude every day…