Simple Disobedience

Disobedience is defined as “refusal or failure to obey rules, laws, etc. : a lack of obedience.”http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/disobedience

Most of us picture disobedience as when our children misbehave; a robber; a criminal, or any defiant act of not doing what is right, etc.

We often rationalize our own obedience by our Adhering to the Ten Commandments or being a Law-Abiding Citizen.

Most of us are not going to have challenges with major infractions when trying to enter Heaven. It is our “simple disobedience” that is going to be our downfall.

Examples:

If you are diabetic, but continue to indulge in sweets, i.e. Krispy Kreme Donuts; Baskin Robbins Ice Cream, etc…

When you know you are supposed to do the things your doctor recommends for good health…and you don’t do it…

When you are supposed to pay your bills on time every month…

When you are supposed to be a “good steward” of the material things you oversee, i.e. car, house, etc.

You advise others to value “family,” yet don’t take your wife out to dinner or miss your kids special moments

When you could stop by to visit those with ill health or in nursing homes…and don’t…

The Bible makes this clear in:

James 4:17 (NKJV): “Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.”

John 14:15 (NKJV): “If you love Me, keep My commandments.”

“Just a Reminder: Deaf, Forgetful, Partial, Delayed, Reinterpreted, or Grumpy Obedience is DISOBEDIENCE.” - unknown

It may be wise for us to focus on our own complete & authentic obedience to God.

Life’s “Defining Moments”…

A Defining Moment is defined as “a point at which the essential nature or character of a person, group, etc., is revealed or identified; an occurrence that typifies or determines all related events that follow.” http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/defining+moment

Similar words include: crucial point, climax, crisis point, crossroads, do or die time, irreversible momentum, moment of truth, point of no return, or sink or swim time. http://thesaurus.com/browse/defining+moment

Other words include: life-changing events, milestones, insights, critical choices, unchangeable actions, opportunities, or misfortunes. http://reallifepurpose.org/what-are-defining-moments/

On his blog A Shift of Mind, Psychotherapist Mel Swartz discusses defining moments: “Defining moments occur when we direct our lives onto a new pathway, borne of an illuminating insight and an expanded awareness. Defining moments stand out in singularity and literally redefine our lives. If you can't identify defining moments in your life, you've likely lived by the rules of conformity and have been influenced by fear. Defining moments speak to the deeper underlying questions and struggles of our lives. Defining moments are the peak experiences of our lives when we come to recognize them as such.” http://melschwartz.com/DefiningMoments.html

Greg Nemer, in his article What Are Defining Moments? assesses defining moments: “A defining moment is a memorable, life changing decision, event, or action that alters the course of our life. Defining moments usually happen very quickly, sometimes in the blinking of an eye. Defining moments can easily be marked on your calendar. They are unalterable. They are memorable and you’ll usually remember the exact date and sometimes the exact hour that your defining moment occurred. Our choices help define these events. They are either negative or positive but rarely neutral.” http://reallifepurpose.org/what-are-defining-moments/

We all have had moments that have defined who we are. These moments have changed the trajectory of our lives.

For many, it may be: the birth of a child; marriage; graduation from High School or College, etc.

Several for me include:

• Being born…an identical triplet
• Giving my life to Christ by being baptized at age 11
• Not marrying my childhood sweetheart L
• Not going with my passion to be a Physician when starting college L
• The death of my older brothers, suddenly & tragically
• Betrayal by my best friend of 9 years
• Breaking up with my 2^nd fiance’ on March 26, 1990
• Going on a mission trip to Nigeria West Africa on November 1997
• Worshipping at Schrader Lane Church of Christ since February 26, 1993
• Getting diagnosed with MS on April 16, 2012
• Realization that I have been ignoring & denying my love and God-given talent for writing
• Allowing myself to be ME…the sensitive, sentimental, caring person who God created me to be

These moments have been happy, sad, devastating, humbling & inspiring. They have changed the course of my life & altered the way I see the world.

Wisdom dictates not wallowing in regrets. However, it is important to take time to reflect on these moments; where you are now; and where God is going to take you.

We all strive for that one defining moment, as described so vividly in Matthew 25:21(NKJV): “His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’”

“Unsolicited" Advice

Advice is defined as “an opinion or suggestion about what someone should do; recommendation regarding a decision or course of conduct.” Unsolicited is defined as “not searched or asked for.” http://www.merriam-webster.com

One of my sisters has adamantly insisted on her disdain of what she calls “unsolicited advice.” Her definition is when others feel the need to give you advice that you neither asked for nor are they offering any resources to support, i.e. money, time, options, etc.

One of the things that I am working on is to no longer give unsolicited advice.

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as WE ARE.”- Anais Nin

I realize that in my life, I have given people so much advice and was disappointed and stunned if they did not follow it.

As I grow in wisdom, I am more cognizant that I may have given advice based on my experiences & how I see the world, not how it really is.

I recall an instance while I was in college. I had went to my hometown and visited with my older brothers. They were making some choices that I personally did not think were very wise. One looked at the other and inquired, “Why don’t you give us all the advice everyone else is giving us?” I calmly looked at them both and replied,” Well…first of all, you guys are my big brothers. Shouldn’t you be advising me? Secondly, if you are not going to follow Mom’s advice (which I agree with), who am I? Finally, I can’t swoop in & tell you how to live your lives and return to college to live mine. We all have one life to live.”

Key phrases to be aware of are:

“If I were you, I would…”

“You ought to…”

“What you should do (say, or think) is…”

“What has always worked for me is…”

I had a recent experience where I was “advised” what to think, what to say, how I should express my faith, how I should handle my health challenges, how I should express myself in the written word as well as on Social Media, etc. In the past, I would spend passionate time expressing my point-of-view and countering this rationale. I would also doubt myself and try to adapt to someone else’s opinion of my life.

Newfound wisdom is teaching me to “remain silent.”

My relationship with God does not dictate an explanation to anyone. When you are being “lead by HIM,” you must cut out the chatter and focus ONLY on Him.

I must stay in close communion with Him. I have fallen in the past to adhering to advice from people who believed they knew me and knew the direction my life should go. I am told to be aware of the message I am giving and what I am trying to communicate.

What people don’t know is that the message is NOT COMING FROM ME. It is coming THROUGH ME. I HAVE to communicate it…I have no choice. For the first time in my life, I have to ignore this human “chatter,” even masked under spiritual intent.

I don’t know why I am blogging, or why I have become as open as I have about my life and my current health challenges. I personally have always been a very private person. Maybe God needs me to say this so that others can be lead to Him? I really don’t know.

I find that I am quoting like a mantra Proverb 3:5-6 (NKJV): “5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”

For once in my life, I am just going to surrender and see where God is leading me. I must….

So...Thanks, but No Thanks. God’s Advice & Direction is all I need…

“Because…I’m HAPPY!”

One of the most popular, international anthems is the Oscar-nominated song by Pharrell Williams from Animated movie “Despicable Me 2” titled Happy.

A few of the lyrics are:

It might seem crazy what I'm about to say

Sunshine she's here, you can take away

I'm a hot air balloon, I could go to space

With the air, like I don't care baby by the way

Because I'm happy

Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof

Because I'm happy

Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth

Because I'm happy

Clap along if you know what happiness is to you

Because I'm happy

Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do

Here come bad news talking this and that

Yeah, give me all you got, don't hold back

Yeah, well I should probably warn you I'll be just fine

Yeah, no offense to you don't waste your time

Here's why

 Because I'm happy…

http://www.metrolyrics.com/happy-lyrics-pharrell-williams.html

 Happy is defined as “feeling pleasure and enjoyment because of your life, situation, etc.; showing or causing feelings of pleasure and enjoyment; pleased or glad about a particular situation, event, etc.” http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/happy

Sometimes, we are so focused in our “pursuit of happiness,” we fail to realize that happiness comes from the inside of us.

The NY Times explored this in an article titled, “A Formula for Happiness” by Arthur C. Brooks:

It turns out that choosing to pursue four basic values of faith, family, community and work is the surest path to happiness.

There’s nothing new about earned success. It’s simply another way of explaining what America’s founders meant when they proclaimed in the Declaration of Independence that humans’ inalienable rights include life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

To pursue the happiness within our reach, we do best to pour ourselves into faith, family, community and meaningful work. To share happiness, we need to fight for free enterprise and strive to make its blessings accessible to all.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/15/opinion/sunday/a-formula-for-happiness.html?pagewanted=1&_r=0

The Bible mentions happiness:

Psalm 144:15 (NKJV): “Happy are the people who are in such a state; Happy are the people whose God is the Lord!”

Proverbs 3:13 (NKJV): “Happy is the man who finds wisdom, And the man who gains understanding;”

Proverbs 16:20 (NKJV): “He who heeds the word wisely will find good, And whoever trusts in the Lord, happy is he.”

Wise Quotes include:

“Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.”

― Abraham Lincoln

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

― Mahatma Gandhi

“The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy—it's all that matters.”

― Audrey Hepburn

“Happiness is only real when shared.”

― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”

― Mother Teresa

“Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.”

― Guillaume Apollinaire 

Choose to be Happy Today!

Mysteries of the Ritual of Death…

Most of us are apprehensive, even fearful, of death. Biblically, we know that we all will die, and then there is the Judgment. We know that this is the path we all must take to spend eternity with the Lord. However, it is such an “unknown” that we often have anxiety about it. Hebrews 9:27 (NKJV): “And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment.”

Many of us believe that we will live forever. We haven’t truly dealt with our own mortality. We attend others funerals without any regard that one day others will be attending ours. However, there are traditions & rituals that are a mystery to me.

I always find it ironic:

#1 - Why do people not call, send a card, or visit someone when they are sick or critically ill, but take time off work to go to the funeral?
Maybe because we are too busy?

#2 - Why do companies not allow time-off work to say your Good-byes…but allow 3 -5 days off for Bereavement?
Maybe because they have allocated "death" into their bottom-line, but not life?

#3 – Why do people say “I’m sorry” when someone dies?

My experience has revealed to me that people just don’t know what to say. Why “apologize” for someone’s passing away?

#4 – Why do people say, “If you need anything, please call me?”

This is said by someone to feel good about themselves.

The recipient of this offer can barely remember their own phone number, let alone yours. Also, they are so overwhelmed with these types of offers that they probably will not remember that you offered.

Anyone who has dealt with death KNOWS that the family always needs something, whether they know it or not. I have begun saying, “I will call you before I return to see what you may need.”

#5 – Why bring food to the family?

My experiences revealed to me how important this is. I recall grieving at 9:00 a.m. in the morning, and then finding it was 3:00 p.m. I hadn’t eaten anything. I was starving! TaDa! Food is ready and available. Greatly appreciated.

#6 – Why do people come supposedly to console the grieving family; however, the family ends up consoling them?

Please reserve your own personal grief. Consoling you is unnecessarily taxing on the family.

#7 – Why are funerals important?

Funerals and Memorial Services are for the LIVING. They provide a means of closure and acceptance of the loss of a loved one. They offer a final opportunity to reminisce about the person’s life, as well as a window into our own mortality. 

Let’s be diligent in responding to others before they pass.

As for me: Please…Please…I love flowers…I am very sentimental…Please tell me you love me NOW.  Please let me smell my flowers NOW. (FYI…I love Stargazer Lilies & cut flowers.J) Let me read your wonderful cards & expressions of Love…Now…while I can enjoy them…Call, Email, Text, Write, Visit me NOW…while I can be blessed by you.

I won’t be able to …lying in my casket…

 “Working God Into Our Lives??…”

Isn’t it interesting how we are so busy that we “work God into our busy lives?” We are "too busy" to call or text anyone; to be there for others; or to worship & thank the Lord. We can’t seem to wrap our minds around the fact that without God, there is no life.

Satan is just as cunning now as he was in the beginning with Eve. He convinced her to believe that, although God was real, he didn’t want her to eat of the Tree of Knowledge of Good & Evil because she would be like God. In the Bible, Genesis 3 (NKJV) describes this.

Today, Satan convinces us that our goals, our accomplishments, our wants, our plans, even our health challenges are About Us.

The Bible states in Matthew 6:33 (NKJV): “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”

Society motivates us to make ME and MY goals the priority and to work everything else…even GOD…around it…when it’s convenient.

Based on this scripture, we are to make GOD the priority…and work everything around Him. That includes EVERYTHING. God blesses us or allows things to happen in order to fulfill HIS purpose, not ours.

Your degree, your promotion, your goals, nor your success…they are NOT about you. “God has not called you to be successful. He called you to be faithful.” – unknown

I debated with someone regarding this point. Their rationale was: “I believe in God and everything, BUT I have got to be selfish and put everything aside to reach MY goal.” I countered: “Who do you think owns your goal and the entire process? God can make anything happen that He wants. He is allowing you to strive for this goal so that others can see HIM in you and others can be drawn to HIM because of you. It’s not about you.” My rationale was not well-received.

It is scary how Satan convinces us to believe our lives are only about us. “Believing in God is just a nice thing to have in your back-up plan, but not the focus,” he whispers to us.

We fail to understand that we do not belong to ourselves. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NKJV): “19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

We are here as part of God’s master plan. He created us to fulfill His goals, not our own. We didn’t create God; He created us. Other biblical references include:

Romans 12:2 (NKJV): “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

1 John 4:4 (NKJV): “You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.”

Philippians 3:20 (NKJV): “For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.”

1 Peter 2:9 (NKJV): “But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;”

Proverbs 16:3 (NKJV): “Commit your works to the Lord, And your thoughts will be established.”

"I belong to Jesus. He must have the right to use me without consulting me." – Mother Teresa

Satan KNOWS about God. He did in the beginning (Genesis 3: 1-3), and he does even today. James 2:19 (NKJV): “You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble!”  He knows where he is going. He is determined to take as many of us with him as he can.

“The Devil doesn’t care if you go to church and read your Bible, as long as you don’t apply it.” – unknown

"If Satan can't make you bad, he'll make you busy." ~ Adrian Rogers

“Satan’s Biggest Lie: SIN will make you happy, and there are no bad consequences.” – unknown

“The devil doesn’t come in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you have ever wished for…” - unknown

We must Realign Our Priorities. Make GOD the #1 priority of your life. He promises in Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV): “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”

This is difficult to do because it requires us to relinquish control, our wants, and our plans. It requires you trusting God. Do you? Will You?

“Thrown Under the Bus…”

We often hear warnings, especially in the workplace, about “being thrown under the bus.”  This basically means:  being betrayed; being unsupported; or being sacrificed for someone else’s benefit.

To throw (someone) under the bus is an idiomatic phrase in American English meaning to sacrifice another person (often a friend or ally), who is usually not deserving of such treatment, out of malice or for personal gain. The phrase has been widely popularized by sports journalists since 2004 and was picked up by the mainstream media during the 2008 primary season. It has frequently been used to describe various politicians distancing themselves from unpopular or controversial figures. David Segal, a writer for The Washington Post, calls the expression "the cliché of the 2008 campaign". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Throw_under_the_bus

The phrase means utter betrayal or sudden brutal sacrifice of a loyal teammate for a temporary and often minor advantage. http://www.examiner.com/article/what-is-meant-by-thrown-under-the-bus

An example of this was during the 2012 elections. Republican candidate Mitt Romney, during a heated debate with Incumbent President Barack Obama said he would eliminate PBS (Public Broadcasting Service), an American broadcast television network, as a means of reducing our national spending. Since one of the most popular, long-time, educational programming is Sesame Street, it was surmised that he was literally “throwing BIG BIRD under the bus” for his own benefit.

Sesame Street character Big Bird’s name came up at Wednesday night’s first presidential debate between President Obama and Mitt Romney. During the first presidential debate Wednesday night, GOP challenger Mitt Romney said he would cut funding for PBS, even though he is a fan of Big Bird. As Romney noted what entities he would stop funding, he mentioned the president’s health care law, then added that he would also stop a subsidy to PBS. He said to moderator Jim Lehrer, who works for PBS: “I’m sorry, Jim. I’m going to the stop the subsidy to PBS. I’m going to stop other things. I like PBS. I love Big Bird. I actually like you, too. But I’m not going to keep on spending money on things to borrow money from China to pay for it.” http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/decision2012/big-bird-in-the-presidential-debate-mitt-romney-advocates-cutting-funding-for-sesame-street-pbs/2012/10/04/f7f280ba-0e1f-11e2-bb5e-492c0d30bff6_story.html

The Bible addresses this simply in Matthew 7:12 (NKJV), or known as The Golden Rule: “Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”

Two warnings that I personally came up with and live by include:

“If someone is trying to throw you under the bus, it would be wise if you’d stop running beside it.” – Janette McGowen

“Be careful of throwing someone under the bus. Remember…it DOES shift into REVERSE.”- Janette McGowen

Bottom-line: We all must be diligent in avoiding unhealthy conflict and preparing, in case it occurs.  In the wise advice of our elders: “Prepare for the Worst. Hope for the Best.”