“Put Your Big Girl Panties On…”

…And just deal with it.”

The Urban Dictionary defines Big Girl Panties as:  an expression that is used to say "Grow Up, Move On and Be An Adult."

Linda was crying about Marie and how she was spreading gossip about her. I just told her, "Linda, it's time to put on your big girl panties and deal with it." http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=big+girl+panties

The phrase is also stated as: “Put on your Big Boy Briefs/Boxers and deal with it.”

Whenever I hear this phrase, I have an image of a potty-training toddler running through the house with her pull-up diapers on. J

After weeks of training and repetition, she is finally able to successfully “go to the potty” when needed. She is then able to advance to real underwear, which is referred to as “big girl panties.”

Life works this way. We turn age 18, which is considered to be a “legal adult.”  We then discover that it means responsibility, accountability and wise decisions. Some are prepared…many are not.

Life Happens. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Births, Disappointments, Successes, Careers,  Illnesses, Adventures, Traditions, Faith, Travel, Growing Older, Death…

Although we may have had a rough start in life, you reach a point that you can no longer blame your parents, your teachers or your circumstances. Eventually, we must take responsibility for our own lives.

The Bible says:

1 Corinthians 13:11 (NKJV):  When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

1 Peter 2:1-4 (NKJV):  2 Therefore, laying aside all malice, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all evil speaking, 2 as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby, 3 if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is gracious.

1 Corinthians 3:1-2 (NKJV):  3 And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual people but as to carnal, as to babes in Christ. 2 I fed you with milk and not with solid food; for until now you were not able to receive it, and even now you are still not able;

Memorable Quotes

“Maturity comes when you stop making excuses and start making changes.”

“Our background and circumstances may have influenced who you are, but we are responsible for who we become.”

 “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” – E.E. Cummings

“Growing older is mandatory, but growing up is optional.” – Walt Disney

“Your time as a caterpillar has expired. Your Wings Are Ready.”

“It’s not too late to be the person you wanted to grow up to be.”

“You have the power to say…This is not how my story will end.”

“If it’s important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will make an excuse.”

“Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself.”

It would be wise for each of us to decide what we want our lives to be, ask God for guidance and Make It Happen.

“Eyes Wide Shut”

Although this is the title of the 1999 movie starring Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise, it has relevance to us today.

Many people go through life this way.

Going to and from work and never noticing:

• The brightness of the sun or the green color of the trees.
• The innocent smile of a baby.
• The hidden pain in the eyes of an elderly loved one.

Taking their children to and from school and never noticing:

• The excitement in their laughs.
• The unique way they see the world.
• The disappointment in their eyes.
• Their subtle cries for attention, affirmation and love.

Dining in a restaurant and not noticing:

• The stress experienced by the server.
• The panic in the eyes of the mother next to you to pay her tab.
• The sadness from the elderly couple in front of you.
• The cleanliness of the restaurant.
• The detail by the chef to ensure you have a unique dining experience.

We often are so busy focusing on ourselves that we miss what is right in our face.

"You can’t make someone SEE the truth when they refuse to open their eyes.” – Janette McGowen

This quote came to me as I was in a passionate conversation with a friend regarding a relationship issue. The total denial and refusal to acknowledge strong feelings that still existed were very interesting. The focus continued to be diverted to external factors instead of the obvious, in-your-face truth. No amount of reason or persuasion could help produce the “light bulb moment” of clarity.

In the 1992 movie A Few Good Men, the memorable dialog stated:

Lt. Kaffee (Tom Cruise):  “I want the truth!”

Col. Jessup (Jack Nicholson):  “You can’t handle the truth!”

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104257/quotes

The Bible says:

John 8:32 (NKJV):  And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

John 14:6 (NKJV):  Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.

John 17:17 (NKJV):  Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth.

Ephesians 4:15 (NIV):  Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.

Memorable Quotes:

“People don’t want to hear the truth because they don’t want their illusions destroyed.” – Friedrich Nietzche

“Truth may be inconvenient, uncomfortable and perhaps unwanted; however, it is always relevant, necessary, and undeniable.” – Anthony Walker

“We don’t see the world as it is. We see it as we are.” – Anais Nin

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” – Henry David Thoreau

“When you change the way you look at things, the way you look at things change.” – Wayne Dyer

"Vision is the art of seeing the invisible." Jonathan Swift

“I shut my eyes in order to see.” – Paul Gauguin

“The only thing worse than being blind is having SIGHT with no VISION.” – Helen Keller

 “The truth will always be the truth even if no one believes it.”

It may serve us to eliminate life’s distractions and open our eyes by opening our minds and hearts to “what is”.                                                     

“Consistency Over Time”

On his hit TV reality show on the OWN Cable Network, “Deion’s Family Playbook,” Deion Sanders replies to a young man he is mentoring. The young man lives with him, but has fallen back into some old habits of not doing school work, the wrong friends and occasional drugs.

When he apologizes for his behavior, Deion tells him (I paraphrase), “I accept your apology. And I am proud of you for the improvements you have made. But what I need to see is consistency over time.”

Isn’t that we all want to see:

• In our marriages?
• In our children’s behavior?
• With our health?
• In our friendships?
• In our jobs?
• In our churches?

Often, we fail to understand that GOD was…is…and will always be consistent.

We can't grasp the fact that this is exactly what HE is looking for in us.

He wants to see if we TRUST Him…OBEY Him…PRAISE Him… WORSHIP Him…THANK Him…LOVE Him… PRAY to Him… consistently…over time…

The Bible says:

1 Thessalonians 5:17(NKJV):  pray without ceasing,

Revelation 2:10 (NKJV): “… Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life.

2 Timothy 4:7-8 (NKJV): 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.

Malachi 3:6 (NKJV): 6 “For I am the Lord, I do not change;…”

1 Corinthians 15:58 (NKJV): 58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.

Galatians 6:9 (NKJV): 9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

Hebrews 13:8 (NKJV): 8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Memorable Quotes:

“No great thing is created suddenly.”

“A river cuts through a rock not because of its strength but its persistence.”

“Don’t be upset by the results you are not getting by the results you are not getting.”

“Whatever you do inconsistently doesn’t count.” – Dr. David Jones, Jr.

“It’s not what you do every now and then but what you do every day that changes everything.”

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle

“We become what we repeatedly do.” – Sean Covey

This should be our goal…in our daily lives and to God…to be consistent over time…

“Emotional” Roller Coaster

I have to tread very carefully around the end of every month. 

When I am experiencing the "time of the month” that every woman does, I don’t have the typical symptoms, i.e. bloating, cramps, headaches, major food cravings, etc. For me, I become "very emotional." 

Things that I can normally “shake off” quite easily become major issues that I take very personally and cut me deeply. Yep...my feelings become very exposed and vulnerable. I try to protect myself...get equipped for the impending event. Yet, I am unsuccessful...

I end up unwillingly climbing onto this “emotional” roller coaster. It takes me up and down, from mountains to valleys; over rough terrain and potholes; through dips and dives and has my emotions running amuck. I hurt deeply.

I become defensive and take on the internal war of feeling unloved, insignificant, dismissed, rejected, ignored and of no use or value to others or even God. I just want to “fade into obscurity”…fade into the background.

I typically have to spend an entire day "licking my emotional wounds," climb out of the quick sand of despair and remind myself that “this too shall pass,” while still trying to function normally.

Ironically, within 24 hours, it does. I take a deep breath, regain my equilibrium, my confidence, my resilience, my zest for life, my joy and “hammer extra nails” into my Faith.

I take into account everything I had made a “mountain” about in my mind and realize it was a very tiny “mole hill.” I wake up to the reality that GOD is...
The deeper my Faith grows, the slower and less dramatic the experience becomes.

The Bible reminds us:

Ecclesiastes 3 (NKJV):  1 To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: 2 A time to be born, And a time to die; A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted; 3 A time to kill, And a time to heal; A time to break down, And a time to build up; 4 A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to gain, And a time to lose; A time to keep, And a time to throw away; 7 A time to tear, And a time to sew; A time to keep silence, And a time to speak; 8 A time to love, And a time to hate; A time of war, And a time of peace.

James 1:19 (NIV):  19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

Memorable Quotes:

“Don’t do something permanently stupid because you are temporarily angry, stressed, scared, tired or hungry.”

“Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.” -  Charlie Chaplin

I was asked this question from my beloved minister and mentor:  “Could it be that God is showing you who’s in charge?”  Wow…I guess He is…

I am off of my “emotional roller coaster” for now. Whew! What a ride!  J

“There is No TOMORROW!”

One of my favorite dialogues is during the 1982 boxing movie Rocky III:

“[During Rocky's training with Apollo, he's in an another world, haunted by the first Balboa-Lang fight; Apollo lands some practice hooks]

Apollo Creed: He's hooking. He's hooking. He's hooking! Da*#, Rock, Come on! What's the matter with you?

Rocky Balboa: Tomorrow. Let's do it tomorrow.

Apollo Creed: [Screaming] There is no tomorrow! THERE IS NO TOMORROW! THERE IS NO TOMORROW!” http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084602/quotes

Tomorrow is defined as: “on, during, or for the day after today.” http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/tomorrow

Tomorrow may refer to: The future, that which occurs after the present; Tomorrow (time), the day after today. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tomorrow

One profound quote defines “Tomorrow” as “a mythical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.”

We tend to have a false reassurance of having the future available to us. Our tendency is to say, “I’ll do it tomorrow.”

These activities include:

• I will exercise.
• I will be faithful.
• I will call.
• I will go visit the sick.
• I will start being healthier.
• I will read that article.
• I will begin writing that book.
• I will pursue my dreams.

However, tomorrow is not promised.

The Bible says:

Philippians 4:6-7(NLT):  6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Matthew 6:33-34 (NKJV):  33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

James 4:13-17(NKJV):  13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; 14 whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. 15 Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.” 16 But now you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. 17 Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.

Proverbs 27:1 (NKJV): 27 Do not boast about tomorrow, For you do not know what a day may bring forth.

Other Memorable Quotes

“Tomorrow is the Today you said Yesterday.”

“Tomorrow you will wish you started today.”

“Tomorrow is too late; Yesterday is over; NOW is exactly the right moment…so start.”

“There are only two days in the year where nothing can be done. One is called yesterday; the other is called tomorrow. So, today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live.” – Dalia Lama

“The trouble is you think you have time.” – Buddha

“If not now, then when?”

“Yesterday you said tomorrow.”

We would be wise to adjust our perspective from “tomorrow” to “TODAY.”

“Left vs. Right”: A Different Perspective

Every year, August 13th is recognized as National Left-Hander’s Day.

Other than our President Barack Obama, other notable “Lefties” include: Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, Celine Dion, Prince William, Morgan Freeman, Whoopi Goldberg, Laurence Fishburne, Adam Levine, LeBron James, Jerry Seinfeld, Spike Lee and former Presidents Bill Clinton and George Bush, Sr.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/emilyhennen/60-famous-people-who-are-left-handed#.qdam9wKEN

I knew my niece and my late brother were “lefties.” However, I didn’t realize so many others were in the same boat…trying to successfully navigate in a right-handed world.

It must be somewhat challenging to adjust to a world that is totally equipped to function in a “right-handed” mentality in which 90% inhabit.

It is similar to my diagnosis of Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis in 2012. Only 5 – 10% of patients have it, yet you become keenly aware that all of the research, fundraising, medical advances and attention is given to the most common type, Relapsing Remitting, which affects 90% of the approximately 3 million people with the disease. You are left as an “outsider” traveling this journey along.

Finding out that so many people are left-handed was fascinating to me. I realized that they share a distinct perspective of the world that the majority right-handers don’t have. Yet, the world would not be as awesome without them.

Some Interesting Facts include:

• Left-handers make up between 5% and 10% of the population.
• Men are more likely to be left-handed than women.
• Left-handers are more likely to be geniuses.
• Recover from strokes faster.
• Of the last 5 Presidents of the United States, 3 were left-handed. (Obama, Clinton and Bush, Sr.)
• Musicians, painters and writers are significantly more likely to be left-handed.
• “The wedding ring goes on the left ring finger because it is the only finger with a vein that connects to a heart.” – psychofactz.tumblr.com
• “Left-handed people can deal with more data that doesn’t come in an organized way. The left brain normally controls the right side, which is very powerful.” – Dr. Oz
• Make especially good baseball players, tennis players, swimmers, boxers and fencers. (almost 40% of the top tennis players are lefties)
• Adjust to seeing underwater quicker; less able to roll their tongue than a righty and nails grow faster on the left hand than the right.
• Left-Handers are more likely to have allergies; more prone to migraines and more likely to be insomniacs.
• Use the right side of the brain the most; better at multi-tasking and are more likely to suffer stuttering and dyslexia.
• Left handed college graduates go on to become 26% richer than right handed graduates.

http://leftyfretz.com/25-facts-about-left-handed-people/

It is a clear example why different perspectives, points-of-view and diversity are so important.  #DifferentPerspectiveIsGood

The Bible has used right and left as directionals, typically designating the right as the best. 

Matthew 6:3-4(NKJV): 3 But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 that your charitable deed may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly.

Psalm 63:8 (NKJV): 8 My soul follows close behind You; Your right hand upholds me.

Matthew 25:32-33 (NKJV): 32 All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them one from another, as a shepherd divides his sheep from the goats. 33 And He will set the sheep on His right hand, but the goats on the left.

However, God is “not the author of confusion.” He does not make mistakes. Thus, “lefties” can add a necessary, powerful perspective to the world.

Humorous Quotes

“I’m left-handed…what’s your super power?”

“I may be left-handed, but I am always right.”

“If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only the left-handed people are in their right minds!”

“Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left.”

Therefore, it is wise for us to embrace our uniqueness in order to add value to each other and the world. 

“Not Prepared to Receive…”

I often marvel:

• How people will stand in long lines to win the $100 million dollar Power Ball Lottery. Many have won. Yet within a few years, they are broke.
• Athletes “go pro” and sign multi-million dollar contracts. They immediately go from poverty to ultra-wealthy. Many are more focused on the access this new money provides instead of their athletic skill. Within a few years, they find themselves released from the team and in financial trouble.
• Many entertainers pray for success and fame. They get it fast and find themselves overwhelmed. They weren’t prepared for the loss of privacy and ridicule that came along with it. Some succumb to drugs, alcohol and bad behavior. They end up being “one-hit wonders.”
• Example:  You prayed for new furniture. God Answered. He is trying to move in the brand new American Signature furniture you prayed for. The truck and movers are right outside your door…but you’ve got to move out the old furniture.

In the movie Facing the Giants, a teacher told this story to the coach:

Two men prayed for rain for their crops. One tilled his fields, preparing to receive it. The other did not. Whose Faith was strongest? You need to go prepare your fields for rain.

Many of us fall guilty to this. We ask, plead and pray for blessings we are not prepared to receive.

As with the lottery example, people are advised to have a lawyer, financial advisor and accountant in place before coming to claim the money. Some advise the winner to remain anonymous

Life offers opportunities somewhat like an assembly line. They will continuously present themselves to you. It is up to us to prepare ourselves to receive them.

The Bible discusses this in Matthew 25:1-12 (NKJV) in “The Parable of the Wise and Foolish Virgins.” It basically highlights 10 virgins who took their lamps to meet the bridegroom. Five took oil with them; five did not. While the bridegroom was delayed, they all slept. At midnight, when it was announced that he was approaching, five did not have oil to trim their lamps. Although they rushed to purchase more, they returned to find the door to the wedding shut.

James 4:3 (NIV):  When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

Memorable Quotes

“Be careful what you ask for. You just might get it.”

 “Spectacular achievement is always preceded by unspectacular preparation.” - Robert H. Schuller

“I feel that luck is preparation meeting opportunity.” - Oprah Winfrey

“A winning effort begins with preparation.” - Joe Gibbs

“Be careful not to compromise what you want most for what you want now.” - Zig Ziglar

“Don't think your dreams don't come true, because they do. You'd better be careful what you wish for.”  - Barbara Billingsley

“The way you can be careful of the catastrophe that success can bring is by paying attention to something else that comes along with success - responsibility.” - El DeBarge

“Sometimes we may ask God for success, and He gives us physical and mental stamina. We might plead for prosperity, and we receive enlarged perspective and increased patience, or we petition for growth and are blessed with the gift of grace. He may bestow upon us conviction and confidence as we strive to achieve worthy goals.” - David A. Bednar

Pay attention. Make sure you are clear about what you ask and prepared to receive it.