“Wisdom Painfully-Acquired”

Wisdom is defined as “knowledge that is gained by having many experiences in life; the natural ability to understand things that most other people cannot understand; knowledge of what is proper or reasonable : good sense or judgment.” http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/wisdom

Being a “native Middle Tennessean,” I have to say that I was utterly ashamed, disappointed and embarrassed to see our elite college, Vanderbilt University, portrayed in such a dismal, negative light in late 2014 on ABC’s “20/20” show. They did an in-depth show about the Vanderbilt Rape Trial. A total of four promising young football athletes became excessively drunk one night and sexually-assaulted an also-drunk and unconscious young woman, who was the girl friend or acquaintance of one of them. He then texted videos of the assault to his friends. Two were found guilty during their trial and can anticipate serving a minimum of 15-20 years in prison. The other two's trial date has not been set.

Our choices and decisions affect more than we may ever realize. They affect:

Our parents…

Our grandparents…

Our siblings…

Our relatives…

Our church…

The university…

The university’s Alumni…

The football team…

The city (Nashville)…

The region of the state (Middle Tennessee)…

The state (Tennessee)…

All males…

The United States……to name a few.

It even affected me!

I don’t even know them personally or their parents. I did not attend Vanderbilt University. But I know people who went there or work there.

Why am I so affected?

Circa 1982. My sisters and I (identical triplets) were the first in our immediate family to go to college. I was blessed with the ultimate filter of not wanting to see the look of horror and “profound disappointment” on their faces, if I did something out-of-line from how I was raised. Too many people were vested in my success. My college degree was not my own. It was my parents', my four grandparents', my family’s, and my community’s degree.

I wasn’t perfect. I did make some unwise choices and mistakes along the way. But this “ultimate filter” plus my faith always pulled me back in line. It helped draw me away from peer pressure. It didn’t matter what the “culture” was on campus or what was deemed “socially acceptable.” They didn’t have to look into my parents’ faces…I did.

“Never base your life decision on advice from people who don’t have to live with the results.”  

The Bible says:

Matthew 10:16 (NKJV):  “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.”

Proverbs 3:7 (NKJV): Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and depart from evil.

Proverbs 3:35 (NKJV): The wise shall inherit glory, But shame shall be the legacy of fools.

Memorable Quotes:

“Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” – Dalai Lama

"What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create." ~ Buddha

"Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most." - Abraham Lincoln

“Show respect even to people who don’t deserve it, not as a reflection of their character, but as a reflection of yours.”  - Dave Willis

Lesson Learned: Your life is not just about you. Your decisions affect more than you may ever realize. The consequences can be devastating. Through our Experiences, we acquire wisdom...sometimes, at a high and painful cost...

Modern-Day “Humility”

Humility is “the quality or state of not thinking you are better than other people : the quality or state of being humble” http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/humility

This was revealed during the 2014 NBA Championship between the Miami Heat and the San Antonio Spurs. The media spotlight was clearly on the Miami Heat, with their proclaimed “Dream Team” trio of Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh and LeBron James. A “three-peat” was easily predicted for them to win. 

However, everyone seemed to snooze on the quiet resilience and power of the San Antonio Spurs and their power players Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, Manu Ginobili, and players Danny Green and 23-year-old Kawhi Leonard. The team showed great class and humility by letting their skill on the floor “do the talking.”

They refused to be considered a “three-man Dream team” by elevating every player on the court. They not only won the Championship by a 4-1 sweep of the series, they rejoiced in Leonard being named 2014 NBA Finals MVP, the youngest since Magic Johnson in 1982.

However, what was so amazing was Coach Popovich’s refusal to be on stage or even interviewed when the Championship trophy was awarded, choosing to stand in the background and uplift his team. He truly exemplified Harry S. Truman’s quote: “It’s amazing what you can accomplish if you don’t care who gets the credit.”

The Bible says:

Philippians 2:4 (NKJV): Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

James 4:10 (NKJV): Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.

Proverbs 11:2 (NKJV): When pride comes, then comes shame; But with the humble is wisdom.

Luke 14:11 (NKJV): For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Powerful Quotes:

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less.” – C.S. Lewis

“Pride is concerned with who is right; Humility is concerned with what is right.” – Ezra T. Benson

“True humility is staying teachable, no matter how much you know.”

Exercising humility is something that may appear small in the world’s eyes, but is profound in the eyes of the Lord…

“Freedom of Speech?”

This seems to be the primary theme of our society these days. From the American comedy movie The Interview, based on the premise of assassinating North Korea's leader to the satirical cartoons in the French newspaper Charlie Hebdo, the exercise of the freedom of speech can lead to devastating consequences, when used irresponsibly.

I decided to further explore it. To truly understand "freedom of speech, we first must understand the meaning of “freedom.”

Freedom is “the quality or state of being free; the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action; http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/freedom

Therefore:

Freedom of Speech is defined as “the right to express facts and opinions subject only to reasonable limitations (as the power of the government to protect itself from a clear and present danger) guaranteed by the 1st and 14th amendments to the U.S. Constitution and similar provisions of some state constitutions” http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/freedom%20of%20speech

Freedom of speech is perhaps one of the most abused freedoms we have. From profanity to nudity these moral destroyers are acceptable and protected,… While freedom of speech gives us the right to verbally express how we feel, it does not give us the right to curse and abuse other people. Some things require self-control and respect. But unfortunately there will always be those who will pontificate that they have a right to do whatever they please. http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/grogan/051129

Our society today has become extreme in stating this as a justification for inappropriate behavior. However, this seems to be done by misinterpretation of this freedom.

Freedom of Speech is NOT freedom to:

• Be Rude.
• Disrespectful.
• Use Profanity.
• Be Hurtful.
• Assassinate someone else’s character or reputation.
• Find humor at someone else’s expense.
• Bully anyone.
• Post anything to or about someone on Social Media.

In an article titled, “Freedom of Speech Comes With Responsibility,” writer Cynthia Collins states:

"For those who get carried away thinking that free speech means anything goes, there are types of speech that are not protected. Slander (verbal defamation) and libel (written defamation), threats, treason, copyright infringements, trade secrets, and promoting unlawful acts are some of the areas where free speech does not apply. Stating an opinion is one thing but spreading malicious gossip with the intent to harm someone’s reputation, business or threaten national security."  http://guardianlv.com/2014/06/freedom-of-speech-comes-with-responsibility/

The Bible even advises in:

James 1:19 (KJV): Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:

Ephesians 4:29 (NIV): Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Psalm 19:14 (NKJV): Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.

Psalm 37:30 (NKJV): The mouth of the righteous speaks wisdom, And his tongue talks of justice.

Memorable Quotes:

“You are free to choose, but you are not free from the consequences of that choice.”

“People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.”  - Soren Kierkegaard

“It is easy to believe in freedom of speech for those with whom we agree.” -Leo McKern

“Most people do not really want others to have freedom of speech, they just want others to be given the freedom to say want they want to hear.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“I can’t curse those who don't believe as I do. I can’t express hate or disdain for those who criticize what I hold dear. I can’t outshout, bully, or taunt them. I can’t exercise the liberty of free speech because I answer to a higher law. I answer to the Word of God.” ― Lori Hatcher

We all should exercise this use of our freedom of speech carefully and in a manner that is pleasing to God…

“Adjusting Our Expectations”

I have often heard myself and other people say:

“He should have known better.”

“She ought to know not to do that”

Expectation is “a belief that something will happen or is likely to happen; a feeling or belief about how successful, good, etc., someone or something will be; the act or state of expecting :  anticipation; something expected” http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/expectation

Many of us have extremely high expectations of others and of life. In many instances, they are so high that we can’t even reach them ourselves.

“You can't judge others by their actions and judge yourself by your intentions.” – Grant Taylor in movie Facing The Giants

We may need to adjust our expectations so they are more realistic. A few ways include:

      

RAISE expectations for children and adults.

Case in Point

I clearly recall in kindergarten my teacher asked our class what we wanted to be when we grew up. I remember telling my teacher, “All I know is that Mommy & Daddy say we are going to be in the Top Ten of our HS Senior Class and that we are going to college. I am not sure what that means…”

My sisters and I ranked #6, 7 & 8 in our Senior Class, and we all have our Bachelor’s and Masters Degrees.

“Children will rise to the expectations you set for them.” – Janette McGowen

“Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be.” ― Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

LOWER expectations for others to think like you think or behave as you behave.

I now have less stress by doing this. Before, I would get stressed out when people did not live up to my expectations.  Now, when people do, that’s great! When they don’t, I am disappointed, but not devastated. I am shocked, but not surprised.

“Don’t blame people for disappointing you, blame yourself for expecting too much from them.”

“If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.”  ― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

The best plan is to make sure our expectations are less aligned with the world’s and more aligned with God’s.

The Bible discusses expectations:

Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJV):  For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Matthew 24:35 (NIV): Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.

Philippians 4:19 (NIV): And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

Romans 8:28 (NIV):  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.

Matthew 7:7-8 (NIV):  “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Powerful Quotes:

 “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” – Bruce Lee

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” ― Gautama Buddha

“An attitude of positive expectation is the mark of the superior personality.” ― Brian Tracy

“I hope you do not let anyone else's expectations direct the course of your life.” ― Julianne Donaldson, Edenbrooke

 “Set the standard! Stop expecting others to show you love, acceptance, commitment, & respect when you don't even show that to yourself.” ― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

“Expectations are dangerous when they are both too high and unformed.” ― Lionel Shriver, We Need to Talk About Kevin

“Expect Nothing.  Appreciate everything.”

Expectations can be very evil and can also be very good.  I hope you will continue to expect great things from God, especially everlasting life in Heaven and to be in the presence of Jesus for all of eternity! http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/what-does-the-bible-say-about-expectations-a-christian-study/

“Understand Your Adversary”

Adversary is defined as “one's opponent in a contest, conflict, or dispute; synonyms include: opponent, rival, enemy, combatant, challenger, contender, competitor, opposer;” https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=adversary+definition

Basically, adversaries are your “enemies,” wish you no good and attempt to sabotage you at every turn. How can we defeat them if we don’t understand them?

Cases in Point:

Politically: I am of the opinion that this may be a weakness of our nation, when confronting foreign threats. The United States went to war in Iraq; Afghanistan and continue to face threats from Al Quada, ISIS and Boko Haram. One of the primary objectives of these terrorists is religion. If we don’t understand that their religion praises self-sacrifice for their god, i.e., suicide bombings, and find it honorable to do this, we will not be as effective in defeating them

Professionally: I have discovered adversaries in bosses, associates, colleagues and the company philosophy…period. With a background in Sales, we knew we had competitors and who they generally were. I don’t think we ever did a good job in “understanding” them. The times that we did, I felt more equipped to either embrace or walk away from business that didn’t serve us or the client well.

Health-wise: I was diagnosed with Primary Progressive MS in 2012. I must take the time to study it, understand it and respect it so that I am better equipped to defeat it. What is ironic is that MS is an auto-immune disease that is characterized by one’s own immune system turning against itself. I am reminded of the saying, “We’ve met the enemy, and it is us.”

I have also noticed that many adhere to whatever their doctor tells them, without question. I don’t necessarily believe that doctors are “overt” adversaries, but many are at the mercy of top pharmaceutical companies who don’t make money if you are healthy. You’ve got to know your body. If what you are being told seems questionable, seek a 2^nd, 3^rd, or even 4^th opinion until you can find an advocate.

Spiritually: The greatest enemy of human kind is Satan. The Bible refers to this in 1 Peter 5:8 (KJV): “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:”

Also, in Ephesians 6:11-12 (NKJV):  11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

Satan KNOWS who God is.  He does everything in his power to make sure we don’t. We must understand that he is clever and cunning. He will do whatever he can to keep us from the One who loves us.

Powerful Quotes:

“Fighting fire with fire” is not effective.  The Fire Department uses water.

“An eye for an eye leaves us both blind.”

We must take the time to understand our adversaries so that we will be better equipped to win…

A “Poke” from God

Poke is “to push your finger or something thin or pointed into or at someone or something; to make (a hole) in something by pushing something sharp or pointed through or into it; to stick out so that a part can be seen.” http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/poke

My earliest recognition of being “poked” is from my childhood by classmates who were annoying or trying to get my attention.

Facebook has a virtual “poking” option. “People poke their friends or friends of friends on Facebook for a lot of reasons (ex: just saying hello, getting their attention). When you poke someone, they'll get a notification and will then be able to poke you back.” https://www.facebook.com/help/451424538215150/

God has a way of “poking” us every day…in an attempt to get our attention. He often does this in small ways:

• A beautiful sunrise
• The soothing feeling of sunlight; gentle rain; snow or a cool breeze
• The changing colors of tree leaves
• The penetrating eyes of a cat
• The laughter of a baby

I am reminded of the song “God is Trying to Tell You Something” in the epic movie The Color Purple. Some of the lyrics are:

“If I were you I would say yes, Speak Lord, Speak to me

Well you can't sleep at night, And you sure wonder why

Well maybe God is trying to tell you something

You cry all night long, Something has gone wrong

Well maybe God is trying to tell you something

God is trying to tell you something, God is trying to tell you something

Maybe God is trying to tell you something right now”

http://www.allthelyrics.com/lyrics/mississippi_mass_choir/maybe_god_is_trying_to_tell_you_something-lyrics-224487.html

In an article titled “10 Ways God Gets Our Attention” it noted He may do this in these ways :

1. By disrupting our ordinary routines.
2. By making us restless.
3. Through the voice of the voiceless.
4. Through an unusual blessing.
5. By saying "No" to our prayers.
6. By using disappointment.
7. By using bizarre or extreme circumstances.
8. Through defeat.
9. Through your financial troubles.
10. Tragedies, sickness and affliction   http://www.examiner.com/article/10-ways-god-gets-our-attention

The Bible says:

Jeremiah 29:11(NIV): 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Proverbs 20:30 (GNT): 30 Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways.

Psalm 119:71 (GNT): 71 My punishment was good for me, because it made me learn your commands.

Psalms 46:10 (NKJV): Be still, and know that I am God;

Memorable Quotes:

“We want big directional signs from God. God just wants us to pay attention.”

“People see God every day, they just don’t recognize.”

“God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say thank you?”

God is constantly “poking” us trying to get our attention. Have you noticed?

"Fit" for Service?

Our society is obsessed with the notion of fitness. This is usually evident by completing marathons, body-building and gym work-outs.

It is so amazing how we are obsessed with preserving this physical body to please ourselves and others, yet we don’t spend the same amount of focus on our spiritual selves. Yes…it is exhilarating to cross that finish line and have that awards medal across your neck. 

But, it leads to question: How many people were blessed because of your accomplishment?  Who else did your accomplishment benefit other than yourself?

If you drop dead today and face God, He is not going to ask you how many 5K runs, ½ marathon, marathons or strong-man triathlons did you complete. He won't be concerned how many times you worked out. He won’t ask how fit you were physically. He will be more concerned with how fit you were “spiritually.” Did you allow God to use you and your accomplishments to draw people closer to Him? Or was it all about you?

I was once someone with the "fitness" mindset. Managing unexpected health challenges has made me aware that I may have focused more on being physically fit than I did on being fit for service...for heaven...for God...

The Bible says:

1 Timothy 4:8 (NKJV): For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come.

Hebrews 12:1(NKJV): Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

Matthew 6:33 (NKJV): But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NKJV): Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.

Memorable Quotes:

“People will forget what you said, People will forget what you did, but People will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

“Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?” - Martin Luther King Jr.

“Only a life lived for others is a life worth living.”  — Albert Einstein.

“Never underestimate your ability to make someone else's life better - Even if you never know it.” – Greg Louganis

“There are so many people in need whom we could be thinking about other than ourselves…There are so many ways we could be serving. We have no time to be absorbed in ourselves.” – Dieter F. Uchtdorf

It is my prayer that we will focus less on ourselves and more on service to others…